United have a new home shirt, stripes this time, all i feel is oh god, here we go again. United reminds me of a book, A Tree grows in Brooklyn, a tome describing poverty, real poverty, not the British type.

It uses an analogy of a weed growing, or a tree, between the cracks of concrete, that something grows no matter what. Not in my case, if had anything to do with it. I would seek out cracks and pour heavy duty cement down it so no amber and black weeds can get out.

How can anyone really describe the extreme and exquisite tedium of a much loved family tortoise struggling across the lawn for a distant tomato?, and in the same way, Cambridge United kicking off a new season.

Surely, if United are struggling financially, and their fingers were gripping the edge of a high building, would it be the case to stamp down on the fingers, and grind with hob nailed boots?

Of course.

And of the two facedness of the public face, and the laughter from the boardroom, that ends instantly if they think someone is listening.

Cambridge United have died, but it seems to me no one has noticed. Not only that, but people still pay money. Stalin once scoffed in regards to the Pope, " how many divisions has he got", in the same way, when United kick off next season, the opposing manager will ask, " Cambridge, what have they got".

Cabbages, Turnips, flotsam on the wind. And thats our best players. United are like a glass of Champagne that has stood for five days, it is time to tip it away.

And allow for a new club to rise. Cambridge Fitzwilliam would be a fine name, and posses all that this club hasnt got, intelligence, grandeur, age, and beauty. The first meeting is tomorrow night at the Regal on Regent street, 7-30. Be there.

Beppo of Cherry Hinton Road.