I am considering taking further steps to express my contempt for United. This may include standing on the Newmarket Road outside the ground before games waving flags with the following comments.

All ye who enter here must have a radio tuned to radio one. Watching United is worse.

If you collapse during the game, give thanks.

If you bring a parrot, the ball will hit it. Even if your sitting on the back row of the stand.

The Marx brothers next film is entitled " Paul Barry buys Cambridge United."

The one after will be called "Paul Barry sells a crater".

The security staff need to watch the stand roofs. We dont want people jumping off as a game kicks off.

The Gommorrah want to rob United, the directors beat them too it.

Isnt your life nuisance enough?

And i thought the twin towers was bad

If United were a play, it would be halfway to hell, the distance is underestimated.

If they had stuffed Jeremy Corbyns head up a horses a ss, as pre game entertainment, the ground would be empty at 3-05.

The board is like a human giraffe, bending down to sniff at the mortals called fans.

Patsy of Garlic Row.

Chalky, will you help with the flags?