O/T Joke of the day

[pip_y]

I crossed a Bulldog with a sh itzu and ended up with Bullsh itz

[Ronners]

Over 40 people have died after a bus crashed into a canal in India. Authorities expect the death toll to rise substantially when they get to the inside of the bus.

[Ronners]

I've lost loads of weight just by wearing bread on my head.......

It's a loaf hat diet.

[Ronners]

Bruce Springs**** has wrote a song about being caught drink driving and declaring his car is going off the road....... SORN in the USA.

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

Football mad lecturer at Sheffield university due to give a lecture, one of the students puts his hand up, & asks if the lecturer could talk about something not to do with football.

So the lecturer replies ok, " Today we are going to talk about Sheffield Wednesday ".

[harry_verderchi]

Matt Hancock was doing an annual visit a hospital. As always, he was looking for something to beat the NHS with to show how badly
run and loss making things there were. Hancock checked all the books and then did his tour. While on the tour he turned to the ward manager and said "I notice you buy and use a lot of bandages. What do do you do with the plastic middle out of the roll?"
"Good question" noted the ward manager, "Ww save them up and send them back to Johnson and Johnson and
every once in a while they they send us a free bandage roll. We like to recycle whenever possible." "Oh" he said somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer, but on he went in his tour to the next ward. "What about all these coloured casts you dispense, they seem to be rather a waste of money?" "Ah yes replied the ward manager realising that Hancock was trying to trap her,"we ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs." Hancock was determined to fluster the ward manager. So on they went to the next ward, "Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" "Here too we do not like wasting" said the manager. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the government in London and once a year at exactly this time, they send us a complete pr!ck

[Brin]

matt hancock was doing an annual visit a hospital. As always, he was looking for something to beat the nhs with to show how badly
run and loss making things there were. Hancock checked all the books and then did his tour. While on the tour he turned to the ward manager and said "i notice you buy and use a lot of bandages. What do do you do with the plastic middle out of the roll?"
"good question" noted the ward manager, "ww save them up and send them back to johnson and johnson and
every once in a while they they send us a free bandage roll. We like to recycle whenever possible." "oh" he said somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer, but on he went in his tour to the next ward. "what about all these coloured casts you dispense, they seem to be rather a waste of money?" "ah yes replied the ward manager realising that hancock was trying to trap her,"we ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs." hancock was determined to fluster the ward manager. So on they went to the next ward, "well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" "here too we do not like wasting" said the manager. "what we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the government in london and once a year at exactly this time, they send us a complete pr!ck

[Grist_To_The_Mill]

For some reasons pork scratching comes to mind

[pip_y]

Old lady: my nipples are so hot
Hubby: that not surprising, ones in your coffee and the others in your porridge

[Ronners]

People would be advised not to cross me. I know akaido, kung-fu, jujitsu and all sorts of dangerous words