I have been watching channel 4s dinner programme, celebrity of course. Fascinating stuff, it doesnt take much to find fame.

I am appealing to producers to give me a chance.

I want to become a british Tony Clifton, Andy Kaufmanns alter ego. I could go on chat shows and just reduce it to rubble, behaving in the most disgusting manner, but before that, take the p out of everything. I look forward to getting on that Irishmans show and johnathan ross.

I would have to wear some sort of suit to hide my real identity, something like the Lone Ranger, long hair, a mask and a cigar. I could make millions.

I will be sure to get a request for a gig from United, the answer is no.

I am being serious, all those interested post on here with an email address.

Did you notice the racist comment,? look forward to much more.

Del of Burwell.