Right ... ye ken Ah'm a self confessed bam, and ye ken Ah puddle aboot wi words, and ye ken Ah play music for a livin .... but ye maybe dinna ken Ah see you folks as a certain 'sook it an' see' 'demographic' ... and so Ah hae this song Ah've written.

Ah canna ask ma lang standin punk band ... cos oor new singer is a HUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... but, if there's such a thing as a decent hun .... he's near the front o' the queue

And so ... I present this song, as a premiere ... here .... (sing it in yer heid like sweetly-sick country western .... and it'll aa faa intae place

If I could have my life again, but only if I agree
To be a humble body part of my chosen nominee
I would take some time to ponder and consider carefully,
and yet I know in my heart, that part, I'd want to be.

Though tempting it might be to be that finger on E.T.
Cinderella's toes rather than the end of Pinnochios nose
I'd be Maradonna's hand or even a fingertip
Before I'd agree to a full Mick Jagger lip.

(Chorus)
Cos All I wanna be.
Is Davie Robb's knee.
I know that I'm asking for a life in agony
And I'll rely on replacement parts, installed through surgery,
But All I wanna be is ....
(Boomph - boomph - boomph) .. Davie Robb's knee.

Yeah I appeciate the benefits, of being Dolly Parton's fingernails,
They're a scratch above prospects of being William Wallaces entrails
Evel Kneival's bones had many an adventure,
But I'd be swayed towards the more hazardous life as Shane McGowan's dentures

I know Superman could fly, and Dracula could never die
And Desperate Dan, he was the man to swallow a whole cow pie
If I could be the bum of Kylie, as well as Mitcham's chin,
And the balls of Freddie Mercury, I'd trade the whole lot in ...

(Chorus)
Cos All I wanna be.
Is Davie Robb's knee.
I know that I'm asking for a life in agony
And I'll rely on replacement parts, installed through surgery,
But All I wanna be is ....
(Boomph - boomph - boomph) .. Davie Robb's knee.

(Middle 8 - for all you music experts out there)

Because Davie Robb's knee, is connected to his foot,
and his foot is connected to that studded football boot
that connected with the ball when his connected head said 'shoot'
Ball, breaches sticks,
In the summer of 76.

If I could have my life again, but only if I agree
To be a humble body part of my chosen nominee
You can tell old Viktor Frankenstein to find another brain
For Van Gogh's ear the isolation would be better than the pain

Tell Santa Claus to shave it off, tell rudolph, I don't wana be his nose
Tell Rapunzel I don't wanna be her hair - no matter how fast it grows
I wanna be a part of something to which my first life can relate
****ed up, but a precious moment for every absence I compensate.

(Chorus)
Cos All I wanna be.
Is Davie Robb's knee.
I know that I'm asking for a life in agony
And I'll rely on replacement parts, installed through surgery,
But All I wanna be is ....
(Boomph - boomph - boomph) .. Davie Robb's knee.

(repeat chorus)