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Thread: quick question

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    3,407
    Quote Originally Posted by TANYA_ View Post
    you know what, im glad your answers are as different as my thoughts on it.

    positives
    id love the chance to go there
    the money is great
    the job is already what i do for Europe
    i already know the people i work with

    negatives
    my marriage is over
    my kids want to come with me
    wife is staying for the NHS job she has


    the wife is the problem, she loves her job and is not in it for the money,

    her best friend is her mother
    didnt mean the kids were a negative, they already know what they want

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    25,679
    Ok, without going into detail, obvs, the fact that you're considering it and accepting your marriage as the number one casualty suggests that you could go one of two ways, both with consquences of varying negative impact.

    Either you stay and work on your marriage (I'm trying not to make sweeping judgements about its current state, nor am i asking) but regret missing the opportunity and this could lead to resentment which could prove too much in the end anyway.

    Or...you go to America and embrace the opportunity and possibly regret losing your marriage.

    (I guess in either case, staying could work out really well for you both or going is the best thing for the pair of you, giving you both a chance to start afresh, separately)

    Hopeless romantc that I am , I'd be thinking 'ah, it'd be lush to go, but if she's not up for it then it's a none starter'

    Only you know how you feel about the factors you can control in this and it'll be a brave decision either way.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,715
    Moving countries is a difficult thing to do, I was on my own over here for the first six months then my wife and two kids came. By then we had a nice place to stay. At the time the work situation was great and I worked my arse off for the next couple of years, slowly built up the bank account and really have never looked back. Mind you, this is Canada we're talking about not the U.S. but I had quite a few workmates who went down and all doing well. I'll always be a Geordie but honestly, I couldn't live in the UK now, I know what side my bread's buttered on. Good luck with your decision.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    3,407
    Quote Originally Posted by Cannylad View Post
    Moving countries is a difficult thing to do, I was on my own over here for the first six months then my wife and two kids came. By then we had a nice place to stay. At the time the work situation was great and I worked my arse off for the next couple of years, slowly built up the bank account and really have never looked back. Mind you, this is Canada we're talking about not the U.S. but I had quite a few workmates who went down and all doing well. I'll always be a Geordie but honestly, I couldn't live in the UK now, I know what side my bread's buttered on. Good luck with your decision.
    she has flat out told me again tonight, she will not move to America.

    Thanks for the feedback mate, i have some thinking to do , i need to give an answer to work by March 5th

    I cant even say its a beach destination, its Mineral Point, pissing down with rain more than here ffs

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    15,596
    I’ve worked around the world almost all my working life. Every decision to move you make involves different variables.

    The best advise I can give is to make sure you have no regrets about any decision you make!

    Good luck.

  6. #16
    I worked overseas from 1981 till retirement in 2017. Had the wife and kids over in Middle East for three years. Job probably cost me my marriage on hindsight would I have changed things
    It’s a resounding NO from me go with your heart mate your a long time dead.

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