Ive just come back from tramping round the fens with my hound, and its still blowing a gale. Im sure its been going since last October. Mind you, it does blow with good effect.

The United goals i have seen on the efl programme have all been wind assisted, in fact ive seen Mullin smokin a fag up the pitch, the ball has come to him via a vortex, and he has put it away 30 times, with a vortex the culprit 24 times.

The position in the league is all a fluke of one sort or another. How Ohalloran still stands upright i dont know, one of my hip high tackles would have put him out in the first seconds of any game. In my narcissistic way, i would present my case to the ref, stating it was ohallorans fault.

Which it is, he was on the pitch wasnt he. I get him before he gets me, self defence. Is modern football devoid of thuggery?, god sake.

Which brings me too Ironside, in the english revolution he would have been fired out of a cannon at the enemy, as he plays like that anyway.

I cant believe Dunk is trying to play football, i had him playing in his back garden with the kids years ago. With those little goals and a small soft plastic ball.

God, div 4 has gone to the dogs if this shambles are top. Taylor is a geriatric, with food oozing out the side of his mouth in a footballing way. Why he isnt skinned every game i dont know.

Div 4 is more of an amateur league now, fit for under 20s, after all the prem plays their under 20 sides against these arthritic, static, incompetents. The fee for watching it is extortionate, certainly at the Abbey i found myself watching a big bird flying to and fro from the lake behind the Habbin, rather than the game, i called him Greg.

I hope hes still ok.

All respect, but i must suggest that a manager like Bonner being a temporary success in what is called professional football is a canary in the mines of pro football, he is still alive and thriving.

Doing what he is doing shows that the other teams must have had brain surgery in their approach to playing Cambridge. Or had to many cricket balls hitting the head over and over. Bonner will come and go, i hope he makes a few quid before he hits the buffers. If he gets a better offer from Northampton, i advise him to go.

And let United get back to failing, and getting one shot on target every four games. Saved of course.

Surely Cambridge have eclipsed Bradford Park Avenue in its affects on fans, just look at what ive written.

Help, i need somebody, help, not just anybody, help, i need someone, HELP......When i wuz younger so much younger than today. The Beatles.

If i had my time again, would i watch United?,....No.

Jocelyn of Lensfield road.