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Thread: Oh dear....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    16,916

    Oh dear....

    I was called a hyperchondriac by Mrs DJ the other day and have since taken to my bed. This has caused me stress and anxiety. I've lost weight, my hairs fell out and I've begun watching rerun's of the last of the summer wine. I've lost my job and have fallen behind on the mortgage repayments. I've also started rocking backward and forward whilst singing "this old House" by shakin Stevens.
    Friends and family have disowned me, even my loyal and trusted pot bellied pig Horace is ignoring me.
    I've thought about suicide brought on by Danny dyers acting skills in EastEnders and I have a strange smell eminating from my undercarriage.
    This may be my last message, I can't go on like this. I fear a concoction of tablets, brake fluid and industrial strength drain cleaner is the way forward.
    Adieu now!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    2,369
    I know someone who was always going to the doctors for some reason or another and the doctor eventually told him that he was a hypochondriac to which he replied "On No,not that as well!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by cocopops61 View Post
    I know someone who was always going to the doctors for some reason or another and the doctor eventually told him that he was a hypochondriac to which he replied "On No,not that as well!"
    hahhaa nicking this

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    16,285
    I was called a hypochondriac by Mrs DJ the other day and have since taken to my bed. This has caused me stress and anxiety. I've lost weight, my hairs fell out and I've begun watching rerun's of the last of the summer wine. I've lost my job and have fallen behind on the mortgage repayments. I've also started rocking backward and forward whilst singing "this old House" by shaking Stevens.
    Friends and family have disowned me, even my loyal and trusted pot bellied pig Horace is ignoring me.
    I've thought about suicide brought on by Danny dyers acting skills in EastEnders and I have a strange smell emanating from my undercarriage.
    This may be my last message, I can't go on like this. I fear a concoction of tablets, brake fluid and industrial strength drain cleaner is the way forward.
    Adieu now!
    Hope this has helped and no need to thank me. I am just glad I got here before Alfo sore it

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    16,916
    Gaz,
    Stay strong mon ami.
    I've dispatched Jeeves to London straight away with my best sheep and a stick of lippy....

    Jeeves has rung. He'll be with you mid-morning. The lippy has been pre-applied to Felicity the sheep and she's wearing French knickers too.

    Fill your boots mate!
    If you have filled your boots and emptied your sack my good man you may Don the balaclava and charge up the taser and go out on the prowl later in joyous celebration.
    Bon chance Mon Ami......

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    16,285
    Quote Originally Posted by dagenhamJohn View Post
    Gaz,
    Stay strong mon ami.
    I've dispatched Jeeves to London straight away with my best sheep and a stick of lippy....

    Jeeves has rung. He'll be with you mid-morning. The lippy has been pre-applied to Felicity the sheep and she's wearing French knickers too.

    Fill your boots mate!
    If you have filled your boots and emptied your sack my good man you may Don the balaclava and charge up the taser and go out on the prowl later in joyous celebration.
    Bon chance Mon Ami......
    Sacre blue lol

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by gaz1959 View Post
    Sacre blue lol
    The alternative is Larry the gargling Goat, he's noisy but he can swallow! i was always certain you'd understand this level of debauchery! chin chin mon Sieur

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    I have been seeing a horse who is married but prefers me as I am a bigger tool than. Adiue monseur

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Debauchery levels have slipped of late. Must do better!

    I blame the government and BLM....
    I'm off out in full garb later, I shall be bringing the rope, tazer and crossbow with me,
    we've got to keep the flag flying my good man!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    44,373
    What in the name of bl**dy hell, is this thread actually about ?.

    Ohh and btw, it was Victor Meldrew himsenn who asked me to ask that question. Its one of his favourite phrases.

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