Oh dear....

[dagenhamJohn]

I was called a hyperchondriac by Mrs DJ the other day and have since taken to my bed. This has caused me stress and anxiety. I've lost weight, my hairs fell out and I've begun watching rerun's of the last of the summer wine. I've lost my job and have fallen behind on the mortgage repayments. I've also started rocking backward and forward whilst singing "this old House" by shakin Stevens.
Friends and family have disowned me, even my loyal and trusted pot bellied pig Horace is ignoring me.
I've thought about suicide brought on by Danny dyers acting skills in EastEnders and I have a strange smell eminating from my undercarriage.
This may be my last message, I can't go on like this. I fear a concoction of tablets, brake fluid and industrial strength drain cleaner is the way forward.
Adieu now!

[cocopops61]

I know someone who was always going to the doctors for some reason or another and the doctor eventually told him that he was a hypochondriac to which he replied "On No,not that as well!"

[frenchlion]

I know someone who was always going to the doctors for some reason or another and the doctor eventually told him that he was a hypochondriac to which he replied "On No,not that as well!"

Reminds me of the bloke who goes to see his Doctor...Doctor every morning I have a s hit at 8 o’clock, the Doc replies*» That’s good, what’s the problem?...The bloke: «*I wake up at 9*»

[dagenhamJohn]

Reminds me of the bloke who goes to see his Doctor...Doctor every morning I have a s hit at 8 o’clock, the Doc replies*» That’s good, what’s the problem?...The bloke: «*I wake up at 9*»

Doctor I keep talking s,hit and think I’m a chat show host ?

Doctor, Hmmm could be the onset of Parkinson’s.

[Tricky1966]

We sow the seed
Nature grows the seed.
We eat the seed
Then we sow the seed
Nature grows the seed
We eat the seed
We sow the seed
Nature grows the seed.
We eat the seed
Then we sow the seed
Nature grows the seed
We eat the seed We sow the seed
Nature grows the seed.
We eat the seed
Then we sow the seed
Nature grows the seed
We eat the seed
Then we sow the seed
Nature grows the seed.
We eat the seed
Then we sow the seed
Nature grows the seed
We eat the seed

Until the Hippies of the world unite
and a skinny women in Turkey gets butt raped by a thousand Camels.

[gaz1959]

I know someone who was always going to the doctors for some reason or another and the doctor eventually told him that he was a hypochondriac to which he replied "On No,not that as well!"

hahhaa nicking this

[gaz1959]

I was called a hypochondriac by Mrs DJ the other day and have since taken to my bed. This has caused me stress and anxiety. I've lost weight, my hairs fell out and I've begun watching rerun's of the last of the summer wine. I've lost my job and have fallen behind on the mortgage repayments. I've also started rocking backward and forward whilst singing "this old House" by shaking Stevens.
Friends and family have disowned me, even my loyal and trusted pot bellied pig Horace is ignoring me.
I've thought about suicide brought on by Danny dyers acting skills in EastEnders and I have a strange smell emanating from my undercarriage.
This may be my last message, I can't go on like this. I fear a concoction of tablets, brake fluid and industrial strength drain cleaner is the way forward.
Adieu now!
Hope this has helped and no need to thank me. I am just glad I got here before Alfo sore it

[dagenhamJohn]

Gaz,
Stay strong mon ami.
I've dispatched Jeeves to London straight away with my best sheep and a stick of lippy....

Jeeves has rung. He'll be with you mid-morning. The lippy has been pre-applied to Felicity the sheep and she's wearing French knickers too.

Fill your boots mate!
If you have filled your boots and emptied your sack my good man you may Don the balaclava and charge up the taser and go out on the prowl later in joyous celebration.
Bon chance Mon Ami......

[gaz1959]

Gaz,
Stay strong mon ami.
I've dispatched Jeeves to London straight away with my best sheep and a stick of lippy....

Jeeves has rung. He'll be with you mid-morning. The lippy has been pre-applied to Felicity the sheep and she's wearing French knickers too.

Fill your boots mate!
If you have filled your boots and emptied your sack my good man you may Don the balaclava and charge up the taser and go out on the prowl later in joyous celebration.
Bon chance Mon Ami......

Sacre blue lol

[dagenhamJohn]

Sacre blue lol

The alternative is Larry the gargling Goat, he's noisy but he can swallow! i was always certain you'd understand this level of debauchery! chin chin mon Sieur