Im sure Jesus has a sense of humour, so im sure he wont mind this. Jesus could raise the dead, in fact he could do anything he wanted too. But imagine being human and being able too raise the dead like Mark Bonner at United.

The fact United still had a pulse is remarkable, as the club died 30 years ago. Getting promotion over the likes of non league giants like Cheltenham and Morecambe does take the shine off it though, and goes against his claim for the Tottenham job.

Div 4 is now such a low standard, the managerial failures in such a dire league do truly require sacking. Does the Newport kepper really get paid?

Id give it a go though if i were the Spurs chairman. I could get my target by offering him a packet of honey cashews weekly, on top of his annual salary of 15k.

Which is beyond his salary at United. When Bonner goes and the "good" players go it will be business as usual at United, on life support. Any pulse will be one every 20 seconds.

Annabel of St Matthews church, Petersfield.