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Thread: Funerals...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    3,634
    [QUOTE=cocopops61;39772432]Prince Phillip ate only the very best food right through his life,he didn't have to go to the shops for it,cook it nor wash the pots,he's never seen an utility bill in his life and if he so much as farted he would have the best doctor in the country rushing over to check him over,everybody who has spoken has been nice to him and bent over backwards to see that he's happy and he's convinced that the world smells of fresh paint[/


  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    20,093
    Quote Originally Posted by cocopops61 View Post
    I've already checked Griff and the local authorities seem to be a bit funny about bodies and ashes being dumped in the local river and it must come under fly tipping regulations I suppose,I wanted to be fed to the swans on the Trent by my favorite spot but they won't allow it....unless I get get somebody to nip down at night when nobodies around 😏
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    Aye, but according to my DNA I’m as much Norwegian as I am Welsh so I’m now adding the longboat option into my business model, hat with horns a costed added option. Either a nice riverside arrangement cum barbecue to see you off in a dignified fashion, or I could do the arrow-in-the-petrol-soaked-boat from a distance option for a few extra quid depending on prevailing winds. I mean, we don’t want you coming back now do we?

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    3,677
    How much do you charge for me go out in a Viking boat which is loaded with fireworks so that when the flaming arrows hit them they shoot up lighting the night sky up,I'm not bothered about shelling out for a BBQ if I'm not there to eat it as well but I wouldn't mind a couple of nice looking girls crying "Don't leave me Chalky,my life's not worth living anymore" Can you do it for under 500 notes?
    Do you do a Scottish version because you must be at least 50% Scot nevermind Norwegian

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    20,093
    I could get two ordinary nice looking girls for that Chalky, no problem, but liars come extra. And don’t get me started on the fireworks option, have you seen the price of insurance, especially when I float you past the City Ground? I could do you a nice sparkler or two, maybe a Catherine wheel, but only if I’m the main beneficiary (debts excluded) if you get my drift.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    3,677
    "When I float you past the City Ground!"

    I would be turning in my grave (if I had one) at the thought that my final resting place would be just outside the Trent End at Forest,I'm sorry Griff but I'm going to have to dispense with your services and don't think that you are getting stars on Trustpilot either 😡

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    20,093
    I had in mind a nice flag saying “F­uck off Forest” stuck up your are and held in by the rigor mortis. We could pin the Catherine wheel to that if you like. Then the burning boat and your ashes getting swept out the North Sea, no problem.

    Cushty.

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