Funerals...

[cocopops61]

As I rapidly head towards my 60th year and I'm getting no younger I thought that I would buy a funeral plan,a few clicks on my phone and £1500 later it's all done and dusted,no funeral,no mourners and no grave,just put into the oven at reg 800 and the ashes given to your next of kin to dispose of,has anyone else gone down the express route or do you want people people laughing as they listen to Another One Bites The Dust (or whatever) being played as the coffin goes through the curtains?

[frenchlion]

Kinnel!!! I am trying to fix my next cycling trip in the Alps, let alone organising my funeral!!

[cocopops61]

The one thing that I learnt from being a hospital porter is that you never know when your time is up,one second you are taking a bend in your bike in the Alps and the next you are splattered across the radiator grille of a 40 ton truck coming the opposite way FL

[griff]

Here’s a deal lads. One thing this Indian problem has shown us is that all you really need is a river-bank and a decent pile of logs and your final rites are taken care of, also disposal of ashes. I’d of done it for far less than £1500 Chalky. A decent dry spell, a bit of forest and access to the recently bereaved and I’ve the basis of a decent business right there.

[howoldboy]

Here’s a deal lads. One thing this Indian problem has shown us is that all you really need is a river-bank and a decent pile of logs and your final rites are taken care of, also disposal of ashes. I’d of done it for far less than £1500 Chalky. A decent dry spell, a bit of forest and access to the recently bereaved and I’ve the basis of a decent business right there.

With your surname you could probably get away with calling the business "Meibion Glyndwr" or "The Sons of Glendower".


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-38489159

Aye, but according to my DNA I’m as much Norwegian as I am Welsh so I’m now adding the longboat option into my business model, hat with horns a costed added option. Either a nice riverside arrangement cum barbecue to see you off in a dignified fashion, or I could do the arrow-in-the-petrol-soaked-boat from a distance option for a few extra quid depending on prevailing winds. I mean, we don’t want you coming back now do we?

[cocopops61]

I've already checked Griff and the local authorities seem to be a bit funny about bodies and ashes being dumped in the local river and it must come under fly tipping regulations I suppose,I wanted to be fed to the swans on the Trent by my favorite spot but they won't allow it....unless I get get somebody to nip down at night when nobodies around 😏

[Acido]

Goodness me Chalky mate, this is such a depressing thread. Im heading towards my 50th and its made me want to hit the beers even more.

[cocopops61]

Goodness me Chalky mate, this is such a depressing thread. Im heading towards my 50th and its made me want to hit the beers even more.

50 Acido! Your young and fit days are well behind you now and it's bad knees and Alzheimer's that you've got to look forward to,do you know how many patients I've taken down to the mortuary at the hospital that was in their 50? Hundreds that's how many,get down the funeral directors sharpish while you can 😯

[Dick Large]

Prince Philip died at the age of 99 whilst giving Her Majesty The Queen a good seeing-to.

[cocopops61]

Prince Philip died at the age of 99 whilst giving Her Majesty The Queen a good seeing-to.

Prince Phillip ate only the very best food right through his life,he didn't have to go to the shops for it,cook it nor wash the pots,he's never seen an utility bill in his life and if he so much as farted he would have the best doctor in the country rushing over to check him over,everybody who has spoken has been nice to him and bent over backwards to see that he's happy and he's convinced that the world smells of fresh paint