Joke de jour

[Nardendee]

Having just returned to my Hotel in London from the highly entertaining NFL game at Tottenham’s fabulous new stadium, I feel in a particularly jovial mood so, would like to share with you a little story which I thought was particularly funny:

A young Irish man called Paddy wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Donegal and he lived in Kerry . Paddy consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Marks and Spencer’s and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of ***y knickers for herself at the same time. Marks and Spencer’s had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Paddy unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Paddy sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter.
Dear Maggie
I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.
Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.
All my love,
Patrick
P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

[Beaufighter]

Thanks for a good laugh to start the week

[mellowmiller]

🤣🤣

[Brin]

.....love it.

[South Coast Miller]

Albert and Henry were football mad since they were kids. They played for the same school team, progressing through youth football to local league and played for many years until their legs ran out. They became lifelong season tickets holders at their beloved United. One evening as they were sitting in their local, Harry asked, "Do you suppose there is football in Heaven?" They each promised there and then that whichever one of them died first would do their darndest to come back and let the other one know. Well, Harry went first but it wasn't too long after that Albert was lying in bed on the edge of sleep when he sensed a very definite chill in the room and, sitting up, he saw his old friend Harry looking back at him.
"Well," he asked, "is there football in Heaven?"
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," replied Harry. "The good news is yes, there is football in Heaven. The bad news is - you're playing on Saturday."

[Lolmorgan]

.....love it.

Enjoyed Brins weekly jokes. Enjoy a good joke.

[rileyev.the.third]

Albert and Henry were football mad since they were kids. They played for the same school team, progressing through youth football to local league and played for many years until their legs ran out. They became lifelong season tickets holders at their beloved United. One evening as they were sitting in their local, Harry asked, "Do you suppose there is football in Heaven?" They each promised there and then that whichever one of them died first would do their darndest to come back and let the other one know. Well, Harry went first but it wasn't too long after that Albert was lying in bed on the edge of sleep when he sensed a very definite chill in the room and, sitting up, he saw his old friend Harry looking back at him.
"Well," he asked, "is there football in Heaven?"
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," replied Harry. "The good news is yes, there is football in Heaven. The bad news is - you're playing on Saturday."

Ha ha ha ha love this one SCM

[caytonmiller]

Enjoyed Brins weekly jokes. Enjoy a good joke.

Only joke I've heard brin tell is. I'm guna the bar,. Who wants a pint

[caytonmiller]

Brin. Are tha upstairs tonight?

[Brin]

Brin. Are tha upstairs tonight?

Only just seen this message pal. Yes I was inside last night.