OT Wordle.

[ragingpup]

I did not expect to find myself leading the boardroom meeting at Shell HQ in London today.

I got talking to to a couple of their global brand marketing executives in Spoons last night and after several pints of Punk IPA they joined me for a round of hedgehopping around the local back gardens. F*cking great fun they were, so they invited me onto their board and here I am leading their board meeting.

On staggering into the room (me, Tooley O’Violence, head of marketing, Slugger Motherf*cker, head of developing countries, and a little man called Orb who was in charge of strong alcohol acquisition) I noticed how hard it was to get over to the big table and comfy chairs due to all the money on the floor. We had to wade through the huge river of notes until finally coming to rest on the table, where Orb had laid out a banquet of Kestrel Super Strength (told you they were big).

“Right” said Tooley, “what do you think our next move should be in the middle East Pup?”

Middle East I though? Isn’t that round about the Boston area? Or Lincoln? Sh!t holes anyway. I paused, partly for dramatic effect, but mostly as I had a big burp coming”

“Brrrruurrpp” I exploded and the boardroom erupted in manly applause.

“I think take a chopper up to Skeggy, hit the seafront for a few jars in MacNalleys, power around the town centre for proper drink and then fly over to Mablethorpe to the Golden Sands Spoons and strip bar, get some chips and then head to Naughty Sporties for the togger and then the pier nightclub where we can sort out the wheat from the chaff, y’know what I mean boys? Woof!!

“Woof!!” cried the lads and out we waded through the cash, Kestrels in hand to the chopper launch pad.

En route we called in a the clubhouse and I served off with another f*cking God awful slice to the left for my statutory shocking start, met by dreadful shrieks of mirth from my lads (0g 2y)

In the distance we saw Ronners in a bugg@r being beaten black and blue by a woman. What’s the cheeky monkey said now? I love Ronners. Proper misogynist.

I was now on my 2nd punt, and my 13th Kestrel. Always lead by example, that’s how you get to the top. Tooley and Slugger looked on at me adoringly.

I used my magic slanty bat and as always, the ball floated majestically into the trees. ((2g 1y) “Ow” screamed Lol falling out and luckily landing softly on his big fat useless @rse. The boys picked him up, and with great hilarity threw him onto the road where he was horrifically ripped apart by a speeding combine harvester. Poor Lol.

The ball luckily fell in the middle of the Fair Lay where I again used slanty bat to lift the ball effortlessly through the air to land just short of the hole in the ground (4g) and then kicked it in with my foot for, yes yes yes same same same. Luckily after 16 kestrels and a day on the sunshine coast ahead of me, I didn’t give 2 monkey f*cks.

Back into the chopper and Skeggy here we come. Life at the top – can’t beat it.

[CAMiller]

280 yard drive down the middle of the fairway. Decent 9 iron to within 10 feet.

Straightforward putt for birdie.

Ronners similar issue here. The other half stopped talking to me last night. You might remember me saying how she helped me to a birdie yesterday.

When I explained to her how, she was none too happy. What’s wrong with telling her she was my inspiration, when my 2nd guess was the word ‘witch’. No sense of humour I tell thee.

Seems like we're all suffering relationship issues with the pressures this game of golf. Mrs. CA now has the face on. After 2 shots today I told her I was having a flashback to last night because the hole looked so big I couldn't fail to get it in. Women eh!

1y
3y
5g

-8 with 3 to play. Needing a hole in one and don't fancy my chances either on the course or anywhere else in the next 3 days

[jakethemiller]

Busy day again playing �� at church fair. But par 4 will give details later.

[Ronners]

I did not expect to find myself leading the boardroom meeting at Shell HQ in London today.

I got talking to to a couple of their global brand marketing executives in Spoons last night and after several pints of Punk IPA they joined me for a round of hedgehopping around the local back gardens. F*cking great fun they were, so they invited me onto their board and here I am leading their board meeting.

On staggering into the room (me, Tooley O’Violence, head of marketing, Slugger Motherf*cker, head of developing countries, and a little man called Orb who was in charge of strong alcohol acquisition) I noticed how hard it was to get over to the big table and comfy chairs due to all the money on the floor. We had to wade through the huge river of notes until finally coming to rest on the table, where Orb had laid out a banquet of Kestrel Super Strength (told you they were big).

“Right” said Tooley, “what do you think our next move should be in the middle East Pup?”

Middle East I though? Isn’t that round about the Boston area? Or Lincoln? Sh!t holes anyway. I paused, partly for dramatic effect, but mostly as I had a big burp coming”

“Brrrruurrpp” I exploded and the boardroom erupted in manly applause.

“I think take a chopper up to Skeggy, hit the seafront for a few jars in MacNalleys, power around the town centre for proper drink and then fly over to Mablethorpe to the Golden Sands Spoons and strip bar, get some chips and then head to Naughty Sporties for the togger and then the pier nightclub where we can sort out the wheat from the chaff, y’know what I mean boys? Woof!!

“Woof!!” cried the lads and out we waded through the cash, Kestrels in hand to the chopper launch pad.

En route we called in a the clubhouse and I served off with another f*cking God awful slice to the left for my statutory shocking start, met by dreadful shrieks of mirth from my lads (0g 2y)

In the distance we saw Ronners in a bugg@r being beaten black and blue by a woman. What’s the cheeky monkey said now? I love Ronners. Proper misogynist.

I was now on my 2nd punt, and my 13th Kestrel. Always lead by example, that’s how you get to the top. Tooley and Slugger looked on at me adoringly.

I used my magic slanty bat and as always, the ball floated majestically into the trees. ((2g 1y) “Ow” screamed Lol falling out and luckily landing softly on his big fat useless @rse. The boys picked him up, and with great hilarity threw him onto the road where he was horrifically ripped apart by a speeding combine harvester. Poor Lol.

The ball luckily fell in the middle of the Fair Lay where I again used slanty bat to lift the ball effortlessly through the air to land just short of the hole in the ground (4g) and then kicked it in with my foot for, yes yes yes same same same. Luckily after 16 kestrels and a day on the sunshine coast ahead of me, I didn’t give 2 monkey f*cks.

Back into the chopper and Skeggy here we come. Life at the top – can’t beat it.

Funny as f**k that one pup, was piss ing myself when reading it even though the mrs had knocked f**k out of me and broke a couple of my ribs.
All because we saw 6 men knocking hell out of an elderly woman on the course. My wife shouted to me, oh my god it's my mother, quick go and help, but I assured her that 6 would be enough. UTM

[CTMilller]

Congrats to Millertop for his well worked Eagle! Seems to be finding some form at a good time.

In fact everybody seems to have had a good or decent hole except me. Faffing around on the green like some deranged member of the Monty Python team, trying to get the round thing into the cylinder. Managed a bogey since my approach work was decent but the short game sucked.

Relieved to hear Raging is speaking again and on fine form - as is Ronners. Raging's struggles on the course feel more like a scene from a painting by Hieronymus Bosch and I'm imagining Ronners' wife as cross between Andy Capp's missus and Ena Sharples.

[Brin]

Congrats to Millertop for his well worked Eagle! Seems to be finding some form at a good time.

In fact everybody seems to have had a good or decent hole except me. Faffing around on the green like some deranged member of the Monty Python team, trying to get the round thing into the cylinder. Managed a bogey since my approach work was decent but the short game sucked.

Relieved to hear Raging is speaking again and on fine form - as is Ronners. Raging's struggles on the course feel more like a scene from a painting by Hieronymus Bosch and I'm imagining Ronners' wife as cross between Andy Capp's missus and Ena Sharples.

😄😄😄 both wearing hairnets. Loved Violet Carson, probably one the most sharped tongues characters ever on Corrie.

[jakethemiller]

Busy day again playing �� at church fair. But par 4 will give details later.

That should have been playing santa. My emojis don't work
Ordinary drive 2y
Short approach 3y
Club short for pitch. 2g
Sank a 10 footer for par

[jakethemiller]

Sunday another par 4, My probelem today was underclubbing.
Took iron off the tee, straight but no distance. 1g
7 iron, again straight but well short, should have used the 5 iron, 1g
Chipped onto green but 25 ft from the flag. 1g 1y
Rattled in a magnigicent putt to save par. 5g

[millertop]

Well I was still upset with the England game so chose ‘Clown’ for my starter word Saturday which cheered me up

No word sprang to mind today so just put a simple word in which led to a disappointing Sunday 5

[Ronners]

Decent shot off the tee to within 50yds of the green and middle of the fairway (1g)
Hit a nice 2nd shot to within 12 feet of the hole but still had some work to do (2g)
Thought I'd ask the wife what she thought i should do? but she just said it's 'now or never' lovely lady (sometimes) but sh*te at wordle, I once asked her how to spell 'paint' and she said "what colour?"
I had narrowed it down to 2 words, so put the one I thought was most obvious but got no joy and went past by a foot, but leaving me with what I thought was a gimme. (2g)
Feeling very confident now, i lined my parp 4 shot up rolled it towards the hole but it just stopped on the edge of the hole, I couldn't believe it. The wife said "Think positive, just remember that time you shot 1 under.....1 under a tree, 1 under a bush, 1 underwater" and burst out laughing...... "my tea had better be ready when I get home or else!!!" "Or else what???" Or I'll have to make it myself my gorgeous darling, and blew her a kiss, which will probably turn out to be a Glasgow one later, but from her" (2g)
Straight away I knew how to play it and couldnt believe I didnt think of it before, so knocked it in for a bogey 5 and now straight home for that kiss (5g)

1g
2g
2g
2g
5g

UTM