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Thread: Laws of the game - new rools for 22-23

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,921

    Laws of the game - new rools for 22-23

    OK, jist for a laugh .... but bearin' in mind, refs might say they dinna read fitba forums ... but ... they fkn div!

    So ... here's wer chance tae get things goin afore they get started ....

    I propose.

    First of all ... retractions of recent rools.

    Handball. Reinstate 'unintentional' handball ... ffs ... the idea of a player's arms/hands being in in an 'unnatural position' is boll0cks .... a players arms are like a cat's fkn tail ... they will 'naturally' and as a matter of reflex, move to balance/counterbalance movement and weight distribution shifts.

    New rools.

    Should a referees wrongful call significantly influence the outcome of a game, he/she should be obliged to train with the disadvantaged team on a par with the players under the instruction of said teams coaching staff for a period defined by that team's normal schedule between games.

    Should a player be yellow carded for diving in order to win a decision, ,that player should be offered the choice between a red card, and swapping jerseys with the goalkeeper ..... might nae be fair in many cases, but mak the game mair interestin ... fit's nae tae like?

    Should two players of opposing sides come tae blows, and both deemed 'as bad as each ither' ... rather than issue two yellow cards, play will be stopped, and referee will ensure all other players from both sides maintain a ten yard distance as the disputing players have a 60 second 'square go' .... no extra time will be added on account of the fact that paying spectators are getting more than they paid for.

    Throw ins: Since it appears refs are reluctant tae enforce the rule that throw ins be taken from the place the ball crossed the line ... then **** it ... the player taking the throw in can run as far up or down the pitch he/she deems appropriate in order tae secure the best advantage ... AND provided that the thrower does not stray from a distance of 1 metre from the touchline, and has the ball behind his/her head at all times prior to the throw ... dummy throws are penalised .... the result being the throw being awarded to the opposition.

    If not, then at least reinstate the rule that a throw in must be carried out via the ball being thrown from both hands from behind the head .... otherwise .... fck throw ins .... make it a touchline kick .... throw ins are pish! ... it's called football ffs!


    Abolish the 'when goalies are allowed tae handle the ball' crap. It's annoyin .. confusin .... Give goalies the right tae put their hands on the ball within the penalty area ..... whether fae a pass back fae their ain or fittivver ..let them play a bigger part in the game ffs ... it winna lead tae less goals scored tae ont extent .... it'll jist mak them mair part o' the play!

    ..... bein able tae decide freely fit they dae wi the ba' might enable them tae dictate their mates' next move ... rether than kick the ba' willy-nilly cos an opposin forward is closin them doon (which never works onywye!)


    Ony player rollin aboot the deck in pain for mair than 10 seconds should be treated the same wye as one wi a head injury ... should be taken aff the park ( time taken for this be added tae 'additional' ) .... and player ... or sub .. nae allowed back on field til ref deems an appropriate 'break in play'

    Half time and full time whistles only allowed when the ball is out of play.

    ..... onybody else? ... get in there ... we're a wee forum, but folks dae read an' take elsewhere

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    30,985
    I’d ban extra time. It’s a pain in the @rse for the players, fans, TV & nothing usually happens in it anyway. They’ve had 90 minutes to get a result, just go straight to penalties

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    2,254
    Quote Originally Posted by Mason89 View Post
    I’d ban extra time. It’s a pain in the @rse for the players, fans, TV & nothing usually happens in it anyway. They’ve had 90 minutes to get a result, just go straight to penalties
    Agreed, do they nae already do that in some competitions like the League cup?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,245
    Hey min Naemairneeps min. Too much of the raspberry and blackcurrent? Have you forgotten about the passbacks 11 marshalled by McAlpine, Hegarty and Narey. Boring boring boring.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,921
    Cheers for the reminder ..... Major rule change ... for the good o' the game we aa invest in tae some extent or ither

    Passbacks: ... nae mair than two consecutive backward passes in yer ain half ..... a third, if spotted by an official, will result in a direct free kick tae the opposition fae the point where that third backward pass originated.

    Aye .... 'at'll sort the sheep oot fae the ... err ... ither sheep?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    19,142
    Keep extra time.

    I've seen some good things happen in extra time.

    Instant red card for skirling like a girlie while falling down.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    19,664
    Quote Originally Posted by donsdaft View Post
    Keep extra time.

    I've seen some good things happen in extra time.

    Instant red card for skirling like a girlie while falling down.
    Defo.
    You'd be allowed an "Ooya cu nt" or "Ya fu cker" but the skirling.....na eese.
    And rolling ower when (nominally) injured should be similarly punished

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    19,142
    Quote Originally Posted by InversneckieDob View Post
    Defo.
    You'd be allowed an "Ooya cu nt" or "Ya fu cker" but the skirling.....na eese.
    And rolling ower when (nominally) injured should be similarly punished
    I was at the Hungary v England game last year, behind the goal, behind the noisiest part of the crowd.

    I could hear Jack Grealish skirling as if someone was setting fire to him.
    Once he got his free kick, then up he got and played on immediately.

    Still wasn't as bad as that arsehole Raheem Sterling though

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    15,115
    Do away with penalties to relegate the huns.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    542
    If a player suffers a bad tackle and goes off for treatment,or just has to go off due to recieving treatment, the thug who commits the foul should also leave the field and not be allowed back on until after the victim or substitute comes back on .

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