Mini budget

[baggieal]

Whilst I have no real interest in having a large house, expensive car or sitting by a pool in some sunny clime, I must admit to being a ****y bit envious of those who can afford to travel but have no regrets on choices we made. As a parent, I totally agree with you that your greatest achievement is seeing your kids do well and be happy in life. As Mick alluded to In an earlier post, you cannot pick your kids friends or partners and sometimes this can put a spanner in the works, but hopefully, and with time, all the effort you put in earlier and the values you tried to instill will pay off.

Strange how people-even family members- h ave different values. Some place achievements in work/career above family and others value possessions and money differently. Can understand getting pleasure out of owning particular items or having certain experiences but cannot fathom those who seem to have things for the sake of having them almost. As you say, having money doesn't necessarily make you happy in itself and you cannot take it with you so if you have it try and use it wisely. I suppose having lots of money and deciding how to use it presents its own problems.

We all of us make mistakes and have doubtless done things we regret but, regardless of our material achievements in life, maybe it's more about how we lived our lives and Ketts is right about judgement day!😁

100% agree with you! Ask yourself why many with money are greedy and selfish and have wives who are screwing around! Many without money would take the last fiver out of their pocket to buy you a drink - certainly the ones I know.

How many footballers on 20 grand a week who will now save 200 grand a year with the new tax break will say - this unexpected extra cash will be donated to the really needy or food banks? None!!!! They are all mostly selfish
t wats!

I would never be envious of anyone for what they have or how much money they have - because despite my illness I am happy with my life and kids who have excelled in jobs and life. Many wealthy parents don’t even see their kids much as money is their happiness!

[WBA123]

I have to be honest, I do sometimes think I missed out in my twenties. I didn't really have that much of a life, I remember at one point having 3 jobs and working 100+ hour weeks because I was so desperate to build up a deposit, so I could buy somewhere in London.

I will tell my kids to enjoy those years, much more than I ever did. You don't get that time back. Quality time that is well spent with friends and family beats money and material things, hands down.

[Omegstrat6]

100% agree with you! Ask yourself why many with money are greedy and selfish and have wives who are screwing around! Many without money would take the last fiver out of their pocket to buy you a drink - certainly the ones I know.

How many footballers on 20 grand a week who will now save 200 grand a year with the new tax break will say - this unexpected extra cash will be donated to the really needy or food banks? None!!!! They are all mostly selfish
t wats!

I would never be envious of anyone for what they have or how much money they have - because despite my illness I am happy with my life and kids who have excelled in jobs and life. Many wealthy parents don’t even see their kids much as money is their happiness!

Think the footballer thing has a lot to do with age/maturity. At that age your hormones tend to prioritise ***, drugs and rock n roll and can be quite hedonistic-eg George Best's oft quoted "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"😀. There are plenty of examples of young people who have struggled with new found fame and money and too few seem to have had a steadying hand by family or friends. The avarice of agents probably doesn't help. Still, whilst there may not be many Rashfords out there, there may be more than a few who donate to good causes that don't shout about it.

[Omegstrat6]

I have to be honest, I do sometimes think I missed out in my twenties. I didn't really have that much of a life, I remember at one point having 3 jobs and working 100+ hour weeks because I was so desperate to build up a deposit, so I could buy somewhere in London.

I will tell my kids to enjoy those years, much more than I ever did. You don't get that time back. Quality time that is well spent with friends and family beats money and material things, hands down.

Very true!

[westcountryvillain]

Great thread this - at the centre of it all I think is dopamine, the chemical that's released to give you a good feeling such as a win on the horses. Some folk with loads of money seek to get more because of it, they're chasing the "dope" and some who own & run large businesses get it from success AND looking after their employees.

Al your example of the Hays guy is a good one, he worked until he dropped because it's clearly what he wanted to do and there are plenty of others like him who could sell up & live the high life but choose not to because it's their purpose in life. It's true that the poorest in society are the most generous and they don't go around virtue signalling because they aren't seeking likes & kudos.

[mickd1961]

I’ve also seen the other side of things where people retire and are quickly dead as they lose interest and direction in life.

It’s not always about the money.

I’m in the process of trying to retire and for me it’s the loss of purpose that’s a problem.

[Omegstrat6]

I have witnessed similar Mick. It's the problem of having been so singularly focussed on one thing for so long that it becomes virtually impossible to envisage another life style. I guess the trick is to try and also run a variety of other interests/hobbies alongside your (almost certainly) work/career focus which you can then turn to in retirement. Far more easily said than done though!

Another option might be to find another outlet where the skills and knowledge you have learnt over the years can be passed on to others through some kind of voluntary work. A lot of skills are transferable, especially management ones.

The issue is a common one and there are now groups (e.g. "Third Age" ) that offer opportunities to meet other people in the same boat and explore new things across a whole range of activities/interests. Might be a bit daunting at first but may well prove unexpectedly useful?

Most people's -particularly men of a certain age-"purpose" is to provide the house and financial security for themselves and their family. On retirement, and with that generally achieved, the focus has to change-so why not let it be more on enjoying your time with family and friends and exploring new hobbies/interests?

[Omegstrat6]

Great thread this - at the centre of it all I think is dopamine, the chemical that's released to give you a good feeling such as a win on the horses. Some folk with loads of money seek to get more because of it, they're chasing the "dope" and some who own & run large businesses get it from success AND looking after their employees.

Al your example of the Hays guy is a good one, he worked until he dropped because it's clearly what he wanted to do and there are plenty of others like him who could sell up & live the high life but choose not to because it's their purpose in life. It's true that the poorest in society are the most generous and they don't go around virtue signalling because they aren't seeking likes & kudos.

I've always thought that those who get to the top of their chosen field -whether in business, sport, entertainment or whatever-do so through a combination of hard work, drive, talent and luck. Jon Ronson's book on psychopaths also highlights the notion that many of these people also have psychopathic tendencies that enable them to use others to get to the top and I think there is more than a grain of truth in that. There are, of course, examples of wealthy people having a social conscience and who are generous with both their time and money, but, over all, maybe that thing in the Bible about the rich man and the needle is probably closer to the mark?

The dopamine theory is interesting and almost certainly comes into it too with certain people having more addictive personalities than others and for some this addiction can certainly be around money and the purchase of ever more stuff. Personally, I have no problem with people enjoying the fruits of their hard work-as long as it hasn't also been at the expense of exploitation of others.

[baggieal]

I have to be honest, I do sometimes think I missed out in my twenties. I didn't really have that much of a life, I remember at one point having 3 jobs and working 100+ hour weeks because I was so desperate to build up a deposit, so I could buy somewhere in London.

I will tell my kids to enjoy those years, much more than I ever did. You don't get that time back. Quality time that is well spent with friends and family beats money and material things, hands down.

At least you are honest 123! The twenties should be the best time of your life as generally this is before a person settles down. I looked after the resort operations for travel companies in Majorca, Tenerife, Fuerteventura and Benidorm and really had the time of my life. Absolutely fantastic in fact!

My view will always be if kids do well at school and university they are set up for life and can even enjoy their twenties to succeed.