There is a player of the month poll apparently among Cambridge fans. What id like to know is how the fans can tell one player from another, as the bulk of United fans are as qualified for thinking as for flying.

All the players do is run around trying to get a touch on the ball, and this is the first attribute the scouts look for in a player. The second attribute to look for is not standing on the pitch with those whirly propellors that whirl in a wind.

Holding it up high. This is a bad mark as the player should be concentrating on the game. A fault Joe Ironside has. Concentrating that is, and holding a whirly propellor.

Harrison Dunk should get this months, as he flails around like a fish out of water in a pleasing way. He even used to flail around, arms whirling like a dervish in the early days.

See what i mean, the scouts did United proud there.