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What time do Man Utd kick off?
About every 13 minutes.
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What do you call the Manchester derby at the Etihad... a training session!
A Man u fan in his club shirt he's typing to get into heaven said I've done my bit for charity I've given £10 each to three different charities. They said they'll check. Came back said here's your £30 back now fk off!
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An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
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