Michael Parkinson

[Blackdogblue]

I’ve seen this plot on tv & it did not end well.. the guy who was being bundled into a van did not end well for the abductors… a guy turned up in a Stone Island jumper and kicked 10 bells out of them all. A lot like a fatter Liam Nielsen but left to say, they walked with limps and drank through a straw for the last of their existence…

[Chauncey]

a guy turned up in a Stone Island jumper and kicked 10 bells out of them all. A lot like a fatter Liam Nielsen

You would be no good backing me up,first of all you would arrive late because work had phoned you up on the way down and you had to sort that out,then if you did manage to get involved you would be out of breath after the first kick,complain thst you’ve got pains going down the side of body and head straight over to the Ferry Boat Inn to see if they sell any Double Four because you’ve got family discount at thst particular chain,your mrs wouldn’t be any good either because as soon as she saw Coco she would be all over him praying that her sunglasses would be pulled off by him whist she filmed it,all this would be happening whilst a very large vegetable was being inserted into my body in the back of Farmer Micks 4 x 4 and there would be an extra scarecrow suddenly appear in Stoke Bardolf

[yoonited]

There'll be no bundling into any vehicles, on farmer Mick's instructions we'll be much less subtle than that.

1. Locate him on the banks of The Trent (he's easily identified as he'll have his cockatoo with him).
2. Approach him from behind, place chloroform soaked rag over his face whilst pulling his trousers down, sit him on marrow and place superglue handled fishing rod in his hands.
3. Eight of you to closely surround him ensuring full and complete insertion of marrow so passers by can't witness the ritual, if he does manage to emit any screams then acknowledge anyone being inquisitive with a smile and a wave and simply state "He's excited at having hooked a large barbel!"
4. This all to be live-streamed on Facebook to rest of the group for training purposes.

Now don't anyone say I'm devoid of any compassion, so does anybody want to adopt Coco?

[griff]

I think after that Coco could live in his arse.

[yoonited]

We'll ensure he'll be capable of accommodating a whole aviery.

[Chauncey]

3. Eight of you to closely surround him ensuring full and complete insertion of marrow so passers by can't witness the ritual, if he does manage to emit any screams then acknowledge anyone being inquisitive with a smile and a wave and simply state "He's excited at having hooked a large barbel!"

Weirdly enough there is a lot of barbel fishing near where I sit and secondly whist all this was going on I know for a fact that Coco would b there p1ssing himself laughing at it all with no intention of stopping the entertainment,I once told my sister to beat me up with cushion to see how he would react and the cheeky sod pulled himself up to the arm of the settee for a better look whilst laughing his head off,I can also visualise Mrs bdb seizing the chance for a new pet and with the wheel spinning of a Range Rover that’s the last I would see of him

[yoonited]

So us "simple country yokels" clearly do our research. Capisci? See ya soon.

[Chauncey]

I’ve decided to invest in an inflatable dinghy and a pair of high powered binoculars to view events from across the river just to be safe

[griff]

…while the team on the other side of the Trent have a pineapple, just in case.

[howoldboy]

I’ve decided to invest in an inflatable dinghy and a pair of high powered binoculars to view events from across the river just to be safe

You won't get half way across the Trent before Suella and Rishi blast you out of the water.

Have you not heard of "Stop the Boats".