Reply With QuoteI haven't a clue what this is about .
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Today's half time 'entertainment' was a clash for the ages - Evie vs Myles
Evie, representing Barnsley, had given it some forethought. Spurning popular convention, Evie went old school. Rather than hitting the ball with her instep after a short run up, she decided that standing adjacent to the ball and toe poking it was the way forward. If it was good enough for Woolwich Arsenal then it would be good enough for Evie. Like a player from 'Striker' (70's failed Subbuteo rival where you pushed the head down on the player to kick the ball) she continued on for a full 45 seconds like a metronome until she quite frankly ran out of steam like a spent set of wind up false teeth. 1-0 to Evie.
Myles, in his spanking brand new Horsham scarf took to the arena. After a exhausting trip all the way from.. erm, Sheffield, you might have expected Myles to start slowly. Not a chance! Right foot, left foot, this boy threw everything at. The action became even more frantic as The Family began to fire used footballs at him, presumably to cause frustration and exasperation as it certainly didn't aid him in any way, Myles nonchalantly took it all in his stride, controlled the loose balls, cast them aside, and then went on to win 2-1.
A modern classic for our times.
But wait!.. There was a twist in the tail! As punishment for losing, Evie had to watch the second half in the suite (behind glass with people who are there for the 'occasion' rather than the football). Unlucky Evie!
However, rather than give Myles a 'match' ball signed by eight players, he was given "blue tooth speakers worth £100".
A stunned silence descended upon Oakwell. Blue tooth speakers? Worth £100? Where did these appear from? Do The Family have connections in the digital world? Are Barnsley FC about to be bought by Sony or Bose?
So many questions. No wonder Myles and his dad spent the next twenty minutes staring at their prize like Indiana Jones in the Peruvian jungle.
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I haven't a clue what this is about .
Hall Of Fame
Welcome to the Message Board 404.
A beautifully crafted account of the genius that is the Half Time Match Experience at Oakwell.
Those Speakers have been taking up space in the Club Shop (sorry Red's Superstore) storeroom for months. A ball signed by some players of both teams would have been cherished.
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Great postOriginally Posted by 404 error
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Tradition. If we're being honest, it's a great comfort to us all. Family traditions at Christmas to familiar music being played at each football ground as the teams walk out, it's nice to relish certainty in a world of chaos. No wonder some people were outraged at the thought of people marching for armistice on Armistice Day! Tradition dictates that the eleventh of November is all about people walking around oblivious in shopping malls or travelling to football matches. No one should be marching for peace a mile away from the Cenotaph today of all days!
At Pride Park today other traditions were played out too. Boys dressed in Napapijri and Gazelles sang songs about each others living conditions. I personally haven't been to Derby city centre for many a year so perhaps our songs were accurate. Derby fans however must be surely unaware of the regeneration around the Glassworks area. Perhaps they'll pay a visit later in the season and decide that a change in lyrics would be appropriate. Hopefully by the time they've graduated from Napapijri to Belstaff, the bridge will be complete and they can arrive at the match in good time.
Despite the result today, it was pleasing to see that a great Barnsley tradition was observed, namely, 'The Kick Off Routine'. This has been deployed for years now and continues to bring great comfort.
1. Line up the forwards on one side of the pitch. It doesn't matter who the forwards are, Cole, McAtee, Watters, Jalo... they are all obviously great in the air and strike fear in the oppositions hearts.
2. Kick off and play the ball back to a defender with limited ball kicking skills, as the forwards rush into position by the touchline.
3. Have the defender kick the ball over everyone's heads for a throw in to the opposition.
Season after season we've been thrilled to see this and I'd like to personally thank everyone involved. I just hope this fine tradition continues for the next generation of fans to enjoy.
Last edited by 404 error; 11-11-2023 at 09:15 PM.
Hall Of Fame
Made me smile on a disturbing day for many different reasons .
Keep em coming .
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Would you say the kick off routine is more, or less predictable than the substitutions on a weekly basis?
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What a sport football is!
After conceding an early goal, I was immediately informed by the Napapijri around me that rather than being a team on the edge of the playoff positions, Barnsley were in fact a blight on the soul of football. Our tactical mistakes were immense. If we passed the ball to team mates we were not playing with any urgency, if we played an ambitious through ball that didn't reach a red shirt then everyone involved brought shame upon themselves... I was clearly watching something no human eyes should ever witness. This continued throughout the game as Barnsley piled more and more pressure upon Lincoln Sit In, until finally our dominance paid off twice. The first scored by the worst player to ever wear a red shirt, who got into the six yard box from his wing back position, the second by a player who avoids criticism as he plays with his socks rolled down which is a clear sign of maximum effort.
Goals bring a hit a elation like no other. We all feel it. This elation is enough for me, however for the Napapijri they needed more. Rather than be happy for themselves, they felt a need to run towards the opposing fans while throwing hand gestures left, right and centre. Presumably this is so they could witness their misery and pain at first hand, and maybe even make it worse by implementing the correct taunt. Who knows? Do they do similar things on other joyous occasions? After the birth of their own child do they immediately run out of maternity to the the cancer ward, sticking twos up at any patient who walks past? Are they only held back from entering by a stern matron carrying spare bedpans? It's all one of life's great mysteries
After taking the lead, a new song began where we were proclaimed to be by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. What a turnaround in fortune! In the space of just ten minutes we had suddenly reached the apex of world football. Then we conceded a goal and as there doesn't seem to be any songs celebrating mediocrity, the rest of the game was played out quietly.
It's all very confusing but still fun.
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Football without the hypocrisy , nar it'll never catch on .
Hall Of Fame
The only thing I understand in any of 404 posts is the word Mediocrity.
Absolutely spot on . !
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