A seasonal joke

[cayambe]

Good deed done today. I've just been to Aldi, and at the checkout I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £ 56.83 but when she counted out all her change, she only had just under £56.

I thought she was probably someone’s Gran and I’d like to think someone would have helped my Gran out. So I thought to myself “Come on, it’s Christmas”...

She didn’t want me to help her but I insisted, and in no time at all we had all her shopping back on the shelves.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

[griff]

I’m spending Christmas in the Sahara. Oh camel ye faithful.

[yoonited]

I was very disappointed with my HRH Prince Andrew advent calendar, I could only get flaps 12-16 to open. I also bought a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar but every door I opened just said "**** OFF!" So finally I bought the British IBS Society charity advent calendar, FFS somebody hurry up and open a door!

[cayambe]

After a difficult year and as an early Xmas present I paid for my wife to have a test for Tourette.

She came back negative!

It turns out that I really am a c*** and should f*** off!

[yoonited]

My wife suffers from 'Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome'. It's a hormonal condition causing constant mood swings, low s e x drive and psychotic behaviour, so it's very difficult to detect.

[alfinyalcabo]

I've just bought my wife a dog off a magician for Christmas, it's a Labracadabarador..
Merry Christmas to all on here. 🤶🧑*🎄🎅

[Blackdogblue]

How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Merry Christmas All 👍🎅🏻