Theres a video on you tube of a passenger on an american train by chance filming the countryside. He captures a beast about 10 feet tall and 20 stone, covered in hair and standing up like a human.

Ideal for Kneel, all he has to do is get it to England and the Abbey, a trail of meat might do it, and get a United shirt on it. Passage would be by boat like King Kong.

Being 10 foot, winning headers will be easy, and he or she, will brush off even the toughest defenders like they are made of wool.

If its a she im sure the occasional hair do would suffice as payment, even that might be stretching the club, many rollers will be needed.

After match interviews might be a problem after a 16-4 win. It will go like this, " Well Greta, that was some performance with nine goals". We will call the monster Greta.

ARGGGGHHH ARGGGHHHHH ARGHHHHHHHHH.

"Pardon". " ARGGH ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH.

Well thats all from me doug shulman at radio cambs.

The attendance saturday was 6,300 or something like that, with 120 from Fleetwood, United got 5,000 for big games.

In the southern league.

Thats a huge increase for div 1 football, congratulations to the club, all those schemes, freebies, cut price, whatever. The notion that to survive in div 1 you would need 16,000 is nonsense. United are doing it on fumes.

There might be more than one Sasquatch in the USA, the club needs scouts over there, or maybe a wild life expert. If they could get a midfielder, maybe he or she could take out multiple opponents before getting sent off.