General News Chat

[Jupiter]

We have a winner in the idiot of the year award

https://newjerseybrief.com/2022/03/12/indiana-egg-farmer-transported-to-hospital-with-a-live-adult-chicken-stuck-in-his-rectal-cavity/

[57vintage]

We have a winner in the idiot of the year award

https://newjerseybrief.com/2022/03/1...rectal-cavity/

“The difference between fetishism and perversion is that fetishism is using a feather, whilst perversion is using the whole chicken” (probably Proust, or Pushkin).

If it was a cock, of course, there’s nothing unusual in that.

As Peter Cook once said when asked by Michael Parkinson, “What was the worst thing about public school?” “Buggery”

And Willy Rushton once opined of taking the messages in by the tradesman’s entrance, “All right once in a while, as long as they don’t make it compulsory”.

[mondo_notion]

Excuse my ignorance regarding the biological make up of the human body but the article says his bowels were badly damaged due to the chicken scratching.

How far up was the chicken to be interfering with this perverts bowels? I thought they were some distance away from the exit/entry point.

[Donanddusted]

It's either an old hen or pullet.

[donsdaft]

I’ve led a sheltered life.
I kept hens for a while, only half a dozen.
They were great fun to have around but I have to admit that it never even once occurred to me to shove one up my arse.

[57vintage]

Happy* Vernon Archieknox, or something.

**Winter's done.

* *******s to that
**although Robbie's still playing for Cumbernauld at 47

[NaeMairNeeps]

I suspect he was dancin' chick to cheeks ... and somehow it all went all to cluck

[NaeMairNeeps]

.... Ah must add ... Ah did once upon a time live in a Ferrier Crescent family home with a 'pet' chicken called 'Cluck' who roosted in a bedroom wardrobe, and fkn shat everywhere else. 1 egg hardly paid for her fkn upkeep ... hence termination of tenancy via a fireside poker across the neck - courtesy of my father .... and later wringing of same neck hours later when she apparently rose from the dead ....

Her last resting place was between the kitchen bin, and a large pressure cooker .... but, Ah must stress ... she was NEVER ***ually exploited! (.... however, if the silly auld bint had done fit could be reasonably expected o' a wifie hen, an' laid a couple mair fkn eggs, the cleanin up o' her ****e might hae been tolerated, and the physical and functional integrity of her scrawny auld neck maintained).

[Mason89]

There’s been a daily barrage of bad news for years, so it’s nice to wake up to something cheery for a change.

Michelle Mones house raided.

[mondo_notion]

There’s been a daily barrage of bad news for years, so it’s nice to wake up to something cheery for a change.

Michelle Mones house raided.

Good start. The sums of money involved in that particular scandal are atrocious. I hope she is just the tip of the iceberg.

[Mason89]

Good start. The sums of money involved in that particular scandal are atrocious. I hope she is just the tip of the iceberg.

I’d imagine Michael Goves @rse will be twitching at the news. Difficult to imagine anything worse than profiteering during a pandemic. Apart from nippys haircut obviously

[Donanddusted]

Good start. The sums of money involved in that particular scandal are atrocious. I hope she is just the tip of the iceberg.

Yes she is, isn't she?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said she's like Bella Emberg.

[Jupiter]

There’s been a daily barrage of bad news for years, so it’s nice to wake up to something cheery for a change.

Michelle Mones house raided.

Rules, min.

[Shetland Don]

I’ve led a sheltered life.
I kept hens for a while, only half a dozen.
They were great fun to have around but I have to admit that it never even once occurred to me to shove one up my arse.

Did you do two or more then? 🤣

[Donanddusted]

There’s been a daily barrage of bad news for years, so it’s nice to wake up to something cheery for a change.

Michelle Mones house raided.

Apparently "wee nippy" is regretting not awarding the ferries contract to Michelle.
If she had done so, there would have been no comment on it from the BBC.