OT - One liners

[MadAmster]

Today I made a boat out of egg whites... a catameringue.

[MadAmster]

I knew I shouldn't have bought the flat above Lionel Ritchie.

[MadAmster]

I got fined for walking our neighbour's black and white dog yesterday. Apparently it was a ban collie day

[MadAmster]

I don't believe that an apple a day keeps the doctor away... it's just one of granny's myths.

[MadAmster]

Isak - The best Swedish attacker at Anfield since Stan Collymore.

[SithHappens]

Isak - The best Swedish attacker at Anfield since Stan Collymore.

Naughty

[MadAmster]

I can see clearly, now that Rayner's gone

[MadAmster]

Talking to a woman in the pub last night. She said she loved films where you need a tissue at the end of the movie. "So do I", I replied.

[MadAmster]

When I was a kid, you could go shopping with a tanner and come home with 4 comics, 3 chocolate bars, 2 packs of chewing gum, a bag of crisps and a can of cola..... these days there's bloody cameras everywhere

[MadAmster]

My nephews are called Garth and Simon... I’m Simon and Garth's Uncle

[MadAmster]

NASA is to launch a satellite to say sorry to aliens. It's going to be named Apollo G.

[MadAmster]

Why is that only blurry people ever ask me if I'm drunk?

[MadAmster]

I just watched my first **** movie... I can't believe how young I looked...

[SithHappens]

Why does Trump have to use email for communication?

Because he always gets his fax wrong.

[Geoff Parkstone]

What was the name of the first illegal immigrant off the boat? Amir