OT Wordle.

[ragingpup]

“Parp, parp, parp, parp, f*cking parpy parp parp” I grumbled as I shuffled quickly away away from the corpse with the three quarters bottle of Morrisons French brandy in my hand. Old John Teetering on the Edge MucPoorly has passed away in the night after a long illness and a short battle with me trying to wrestle the bottle from his grasp. I wouldn’t normally kill my friends in cold blood like this but I was bl*ody thirsty and anyway John’s repeated gasping for breath gets on my t1ts when I’m trying to sleep.

As I approach the clubhouse I am weighed down by the existential pointlessness of the activity. I know already what I’m about to get – another parp – so what’s the bloody point? And it points me to the greater pointlessness of all of our existences – we’re all going to die, probably horribly, so what’s the point of going on?

One minute later, I throw the newly drained bottle into the hedge and I feel great. Bring on the tournament!

“Watch out” moaned Crash. “Bacon is top when placed in town stunner. Yop”

“You’d better believe it baby” I trilled and walked into the clubhouse bar. “Pint of the usual please darlin’”

“You would say that wouldn’t you, you’re just a simple pawn in the globalist Marxist agenda that will soon dominate all our lives. Wake up you leftard, you’re just unthinkingly reinforcing the master plan to insert obedience into us via vaccinations and make us all into sandal wearing, salad munching, humous smearing, leftie, ****ing, lefty leftard commie wommie f*cktard lesbian homo tran***ual worshipping socialist namby pamby gaylords”.

I must say, Great Fire isn’t anything like I expected. Great boobs.

I downed the pint of Voddy she smashed on the table in front of me, and off I went happy as Larry, whoever the f*ck that is.

I noticed in front of me that Howdy was about to serve up, but was distracted mid swipe by someone in the distance carrying out a charitable act. In fury, Howdy strode off to gleefully dispense with a volley of homespun wisdom towards the transgressor when an idea occurred. I wrote ‘Pup’ in tiny letters on my ball and switched it with Howdy’s which he had left on the penalty spot. Talented smug ******* can play my match for me!!

Taking to the shadows swigging from my hip hot water bottle filled with medical alcohol, I watched Howdy, adorned in colourful chequed pants and Edinburgh Woolen Mill sweater, with vulgar moccasins swipe off and with untold smugness, and saw me home with a Bird, one better than my habitual Parp.

Couldn’t leave it there though could I? I had to in turn play Howdy’s match and what do you know, I seemed to lose all my rhythm, hammering drunkenly around the pitch and finishing with a 35 over Parp. A chicken I believe.

Get that down CT! Bird for me – f*ckin’ chicken for Howdy.

And now. Gonna get a sh@g off Fire.

[millertop]

“Parp, parp, parp, parp, f*cking parpy parp parp” I grumbled as I shuffled quickly away away from the corpse with the three quarters bottle of Morrisons French brandy in my hand. Old John Teetering on the Edge MucPoorly has passed away in the night after a long illness and a short battle with me trying to wrestle the bottle from his grasp. I wouldn’t normally kill my friends in cold blood like this but I was bl*ody thirsty and anyway John’s repeated gasping for breath gets on my t1ts when I’m trying to sleep.

As I approach the clubhouse I am weighed down by the existential pointlessness of the activity. I know already what I’m about to get – another parp – so what’s the bloody point? And it points me to the greater pointlessness of all of our existences – we’re all going to die, probably horribly, so what’s the point of going on?

One minute later, I throw the newly drained bottle into the hedge and I feel great. Bring on the tournament!

“Watch out” moaned Crash. “Bacon is top when placed in town stunner. Yop”

“You’d better believe it baby” I trilled and walked into the clubhouse bar. “Pint of the usual please darlin’”

“You would say that wouldn’t you, you’re just a simple pawn in the globalist Marxist agenda that will soon dominate all our lives. Wake up you leftard, you’re just unthinkingly reinforcing the master plan to insert obedience into us via vaccinations and make us all into sandal wearing, salad munching, humous smearing, leftie, ****ing, lefty leftard commie wommie f*cktard lesbian homo tran***ual worshipping socialist namby pamby gaylords”.

I must say, Great Fire isn’t anything like I expected. Great boobs.

I downed the pint of Voddy she smashed on the table in front of me, and off I went happy as Larry, whoever the f*ck that is.

I noticed in front of me that Howdy was about to serve up, but was distracted mid swipe by someone in the distance carrying out a charitable act. In fury, Howdy strode off to gleefully dispense with a volley of homespun wisdom towards the transgressor when an idea occurred. I wrote ‘Pup’ in tiny letters on my ball and switched it with Howdy’s which he had left on the penalty spot. Talented smug ******* can play my match for me!!

Taking to the shadows swigging from my hip hot water bottle filled with medical alcohol, I watched Howdy, adorned in colourful chequed pants and Edinburgh Woolen Mill sweater, with vulgar moccasins swipe off and with untold smugness, and saw me home with a Bird, one better than my habitual Parp.

Couldn’t leave it there though could I? I had to in turn play Howdy’s match and what do you know, I seemed to lose all my rhythm, hammering drunkenly around the pitch and finishing with a 35 over Parp. A chicken I believe.

Get that down CT! Bird for me – f*ckin’ chicken for Howdy.

And now. Gonna get a sh@g off Fire.

Get that down CT! Bird for me – f*ckin’ chicken for Howdy.

And now. Gonna get a sh@g off Fire.

[millertop]

Thursday 4 again

[jakethemiller]

Like these new clubs but maybe need to use old putter.
Steady 250 yard drive just off centre 2y 1g
Wonderful 5 iron to within 2 feet 4g
Bit of the Marty Feldmans bypassing the hole by 1 foot. 4G
Tapped in for a Par. 5g

[howdydoo]

After seeing Raging walking like John Wayne after a 3 day horse ride this morning, I teed off just behind Jake's group.

Driver rested within 5 yards of Jake's lie.
2nd shot more of the same, leaving me with a 3 footer for birdie.

After witnessing Jake's ball just go past the hole, I sent mine off just off centre and watched it drop for a birdie 3.

1g 2y
4g
5g

[Brin]

So many words that all fit your squares but it’s not what you’re thinking!

1g, 2y
Swap round with a new word and it’s 2y. 1g
Here we bloody go I thought.

Again a good word but no…. So it’s still 2y, 1g

Must be this one….. no but it’s now 4g

Finally… in the hole for 5g. Puts me 1 over on the day and back to +8 overall….. I think???

[Ronners]

As pup would say, a 'parp' 4 for me today (24th Nov)

Hit the best shot off the tee I've ever hit, and it bounced twice before rolling just onto the edge of the green around 25 feet from the hole(4y)
On the walk up to the green, I noticed lots of discarded balls all marked pup, and in the bunker was 3 empty bottles of vodka, also marked pup, oh and pup himself was lying in the bunker, with pup written on his forehead, obviously in case he couldnt remember who he was when he eventually woke up.
Anyway I had to think a bit as to how to rearrange these 4y, so I called in gru for some advice, gru told me that if i recalled Vickers, dropped Woody for Jake Hull, put McCart on the left side and brought back Lamy to the formation then that should just roll the ball in, especially with Lamy there as he had seen him play once for the dog and duck who were bottom of division 9 in the rotherham sunday league and gru saw him score a goal, and even though it was an own goal he had shown enough for gru to say he's one of the best he's ever seen. I felt really good for this next shot now but slightly underhit it, and I was 2 feet short of the hole..... f*****g Lamy. (3g+1y)
I thanked gru for his advice but told him dont call me I'll call you, and thought I'd go a bit more upmarket for advice with my next shot so I called John2 but he couldnt help me as he was guest speaker at a taking the knee rally that afternoon.
I realised that I had only 3 choices to choose from for my next shot as the 1y I had could only go in one place which meant I had 4g but then any 1 from 3 would fill the last green slot. I went with the most obvious of the 3 but it stopped 6 inches short, "Tell me about it" muttered my wife the sarcastic cow " maybe some time on the treadmill would help" I said and she said "yes it would help you" but she soon shut up when I said I meant for her. (4g)
I had 2 left to choose from to complete the hole but my next shot was for my parp (great word pup) and taking the most obvious letter of the 2 left I rolled it into the hole for a parp 4. (5g)

4y
3g+1y
4g
5g

UTM

[howdydoo]

As pup would say, a 'parp' 4 for me today (24th Nov)

Hit the best shot off the tee I've ever hit, and it bounced twice before rolling just onto the edge of the green around 25 feet from the hole(4y)
On the walk up to the green, I noticed lots of discarded balls all marked pup, and in the bunker was 3 empty bottles of vodka, also marked pup, oh and pup himself was lying in the bunker, with pup written on his forehead, obviously in case he couldnt remember who he was when he eventually woke up.
Anyway I had to think a bit as to how to rearrange these 4y, so I called in gru for some advice, gru told me that if i recalled Vickers, dropped Woody for Jake Hull, put McCart on the left side and brought back Lamy to the formation then that should just roll the ball in, especially with Lamy there as he had seen him play once for the dog and duck who were bottom of division 9 in the rotherham sunday league and gru saw him score a goal, and even though it was an own goal he had shown enough for gru to say he's one of the best he's ever seen. I felt really good for this next shot now but slightly underhit it, and I was 2 feet short of the hole..... f*****g Lamy. (3g+1y)
I thanked gru for his advice but told him dont call me I'll call you, and thought I'd go a bit more upmarket for advice with my next shot so I called John2 but he couldnt help me as he was guest speaker at a taking the knee rally that afternoon.
I realised that I had only 3 choices to choose from for my next shot as the 1y I had could only go in one place which meant I had 4g but then any 1 from 3 would fill the last green slot. I went with the most obvious of the 3 but it stopped 6 inches short, "Tell me about it" muttered my wife the sarcastic cow " maybe some time on the treadmill would help" I said and she said "yes it would help you" but she soon shut up when I said I meant for her. (4g)
I had 2 left to choose from to complete the hole but my next shot was for my parp (great word pup) and taking the most obvious letter of the 2 left I rolled it into the hole for a parp 4. (5g)

4y
3g+1y
4g
5g

UTM

Your eyes are failing or my handwriting's really bad.

What is actually written on his forehead, doesn't read PUP in any language.

[BramleyMiller58]

Hole 13

Back down the hill
Trees down both right and left + water hazard 2/3rds down the fairway on the left.

Excellent drive, helped by hitting the wooden bridge giving an extra bounce towards the green 3y
Fluffed the approach shot into the bunker 4y
Sand iron to within 4ft of the pin 3g, 1y
Choice of two putts, to the right or left. Went right and in it went 5g

Par 4 today
Still 8 over for the round

[Ronners]

Your eyes are failing or my handwriting's really bad.

What is actually written on his forehead, doesn't read PUP in any language.

It could be your eyes failing howdy, pup did have you play with his balls yesterday 😂 UTM

[CAMiller]

Good drive, good approach shot and a well read putt which could have gone left, right, both or straight but local US knowledge in considering the day helped me make the right (well educated!) choice. A birdie on Turkey Day.

2y
1y+2g
5g

-6 I think after 13 but need to clean my clubs and polish my balls if I'm going to catch Howdy over these last 5 holes.

[ragingpup]

Woke up in a bugg@r this morning, kept seeing some hazy figures staring down at me. I slumbered out of the sand noticing that I had again wet myself so walked uncomfortably wide legged to the clubhouse gents room to clean myself up. Looking in the mirror I saw the note I’d made on my forehead to remind myself where to go first thing: ‘Pub’.

A little more respectful, and not much less stinking I ambled over to Spoons for breakfast, 5 pints of Leffe and a bag of nuts. Through the window I could see poor old Gristy walking around the town centre following ethnics, coughing to get their attention and then slowly shaking his head miserably at them.

Bat carrier in hand I made my way off to the court, calling in for a quick shoplift of the office. 2 litres of white lighting a bit disappointing, and not a little tricky to stuff into my pants but that’s all I could get away with. Guess it’ll cover my first couple of swipes.

Looks like everyone else has already gone, so couldn’t do my scam with their balls again, so would have to bite the bullet and out came Fat Bat. And wow – what a connection, straight down the Fair Lay, straight onto the grassy green thing with flag and only about one Trevor Womble away from the hole in the ground! That’s my best shot ever! 1g 3y.

Ah but – couple of possible shots to play here and pretty much 50:50 as to which shot will work. For inspiration I drained the rest of the Lightning and spent a few minutes cackling wildly for no reason, before finally picking my shot and using Ron’s splutter to once more bay myself a magnificent buzzard!! (5g)

All is well with the world. I thought of reliving last night’s glories with face firmly placed within Fire’s magnificent bosoms but couldn’t face her foreplay ritual of watching 5 hours of the Jordan Peterson collection back to back with Fire’s collection of highlights from that paranoid Scottish bloke on GB News. I can see why she’s so f*cked up, but oh those norks!

[CTMilller]

Par for me today and big licks to Raging, our favorite boozer and serial womanizer, (Great Fire? - who'd have known!) for his - er 'buzzard'...

Leaderboard rankings after 13 holes (plus previous ranking after 9 for comparison):

1st Howdy -10 (1st)
2nd Raging -8 (2nd)
3rd CAM -6 (3rd=)
4th= CT -4 (5th=)
4th= Ronners -4 (3rd=)
6th Jake Par (5th=)
7th Millertop +5 (7th)
8th= Bramley +8 (8th)
8th= Brin +8 (9th)

So, only minor jockeying for position since the half-way mark. Raging and CAM have slightly closed the gap on Howdy's lead but he is playing like a star with a 10 under par score, so far. Five holes to go. Is anybody going to play an absolute blinder and make a serious move up the table? Will there be a cracking under pressure among the leaders?

[millertop]

Wow I’m not last

Yet

[BramleyMiller58]

C'mon Brin

Need to "mark" each others cards !

We can do it !