O/T Friday neet joke thread (Please do not read if easily offended) 18+

[Brin]

A worker at the nestlè factory was crushed when a case full of chocolate fell 20 feet off a storage rack.
He called for help repeatedly, but every time he shouted 'The milky bars are on me' his workmates just cheered.

An oldie but a goodie

[Back of the net]

I went hiking with my girlfriend at the weekend when suddenly this huge brown bear came charging at us.

It was really mad. We must have come close to her cubs and she was protecting them, or something.

Luckily, I had my gun with me.

One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

[Ronners]

An oldie but a goodie

Us oldies know all the best ones eh Brin

[Back of the net]

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "***?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."