O/T Friday neet joke thread. (Don't read if you lack a sense of humour)

[Brin]

Have you ever worked out that if a man talks dirty to a woman, that's ***ual harassment......

but if a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be £6.50 a minute.

[Brin]

I remember an old girlfriend tried to make me have *** on the hood of her Honda Civic. I refused.

I thought, if I'm going to have ***, it's going to be on my own Accord.

[Brin]

Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!"

I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.

[Brin]

I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."

[Brin]

I don't think it's possible for me to become a sniper..... not by a long shot.

[Brin]

Here's a footy joke....

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."

[Brin]

One for the ladies.....

Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch ****, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.

[Brin]

Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken...


That's all folks!