O/T Friday neet joke thread. (Don't read if you lack a sense of humour)

[Brin]

Evenin all....hope I'm not too late...


Let's start off with a Disney joke....


What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?



She gagged!

[Brin]

What's green and smells like pork?


Kermits finger.....

[Brin]

What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?


Where you put the cucumber.....

[Brin]

I'm emotionally constipated....




I haven't given a s.hit in days.

[Brin]

I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep - that's got to be the ultimate rejection.

[Brin]

What did the elephant say to the naked man?


"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

[Brin]

Women might be able to fake orgasms....


But men can fake a whole relationship.

[Brin]

One for my mate CAM...

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

[Brin]

My Wife came out of the shower and said "I shaved my *****, you know what that means? I said "yeah, the drain is clogged again. "

[Brin]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law.

My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?'

I said ‘No, six should be enough.'