As a stripling, you are blessed/unfortunate never to have witnessed the gait of Denis Kennedy, ex-Arbroath centre forward who scored freely with Keith, a better class of Maroon than the Lichties, in the late 1960s.
I’m sure whoever wrote The Birdie Song had either been a Kynoch Park regular, or had been sent animated drawings of the most awkward looking, yet penalty box-effective motion since
Australopithecus afarensis (arguably) decided that rising for a heider from a corner was more effective from an already-standing position.


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