I'm not a good Christian as I sometimes fall by the wayside and doubt what I've been lead to believe all my life,then after a month or so staying away I feel guilty about it and head back to church filling the collection plate with enough cash to replace what I had missed over the weeks to make myself feel better about it,whenever I head out of the church at the end and the vicar says goodbye and shakes my hand and "Glad to see you back" I often wonder if he knows? I should have been christened Thomas instead of Peter but it is something that genuinely worries me at times,there's someone there who's been going to church for as long as I can remember and I know for a fact that he gets into some well dodging dealings from the time that we both had the same pub as our local,it always struck me as a conflict of interests but he doesn't seem to see the irony and I'm to scared of him to point it out tbh..

It's best not to have ever believed if I'm honest,