I'm sure it won't be long before we follow Canada's lead and in time offer euthanasia via TV adverts for anybody over a certain age who's woken up feeling a bit down about life that morning.

There was a time when you could never have imagined that commercials for funeral plans would become a thing, least of all voiced over by the queen of punk Toyah Wilcox. Honestly, this will not surprise me. I can see it now. Gary Lineker sat on the sofa watching a playback of his penalty winner v Cameroon and then pauses with the remote, turns to camera and says, "I thought I could play on until I was 40, but there comes a point where you know you're just going to become a liability to the team by carrying on indefinitely... and that's where Sun Life's euthanasia plan can help you decide when it's time to bow out of the game and be remembered at your peak by all those closest and most special to you. Sign up now for your free gift blending machine."

You'll be doing your bit for the greater good and the survival of the health service by signalling the "I need to be substituted" gesture in the direction that great bench in the sky.

Logans Run will become a reality. They want us all dead.