OT Wordle.

[Ronners]

I'm in the doghouse again for f**k all, as usual, this morning. Me and the mrs were having breakfast before going to the golf course and out of curiosity I asked her "If anything happened to me would she get married again?" and she said " No I'd go and live with my sister"
She then asked if I'd get married again if anything happened to her, so I told her no, and that I'd also go and live with her sister.....women eh.......
Anyway, we got on the tee and from my tee shot I hit the ball well enough but I hooked it and it hit a tree and bounced back straight at my feet (0) my wife couldn't stop laughing, so I said to her "What are you laughing at? I you have to embrace your mistakes" so she gave me a hug.....tw*t.
I then hit a decent tee shot that landed within 40 yards of the green and made me feel better 1g+1y
My 3rd shot was another good one and landed around 4ft from the hole 2g+2y, and with what I had I could only see one word and duly knocked it in for a parp 4.

0
1g+1y
2g+2y
5g

UTM

[Edinburghmiller]

I can only sympathise with Ronners. I must have hit the same tree as him but my ball landed behind the tree for 1y. Took a 9 iron to knock the ball on to the fairway. Then stupidly misread the next shot and went into the dodgy rough 1y again. Bit of luck from the rough on to the green 1g1y. Then a 20 foot putt got me my par 5g. Happy days!

1y
1y
1g1y
5g

[millertop]

I'm in the doghouse again for f**k all, as usual, this morning. Me and the mrs were having breakfast before going to the golf course and out of curiosity I asked her "If anything happened to me would she get married again?" and she said " No I'd go and live with my sister"
She then asked if I'd get married again if anything happened to her, so I told her no, and that I'd also go and live with her sister.....women eh.......
Anyway, we got on the tee and from my tee shot I hit the ball well enough but I hooked it and it hit a tree and bounced back straight at my feet (0) my wife couldn't stop laughing, so I said to her "What are you laughing at? I you have to embrace your mistakes" so she gave me a hug.....tw*t.
I then hit a decent tee shot that landed within 40 yards of the green and made me feel better 1g+1y
My 3rd shot was another good one and landed around 4ft from the hole 2g+2y, and with what I had I could only see one word and duly knocked it in for a parp 4.

0
1g+1y
2g+2y
5g

UTM

Women eh
I’ve been **** all week near enough with Wordle

[Ronners]

Women eh
I’ve been **** all week near enough with Wordle

You need more practice topsy, do a round with pup, but bring your own beer.

[BramleyMiller58]

That bl**dy tree must be magnetic

Shocking first shot.
Hit tree and dropped down right beside it - 1y

No option but to take my tree iron
Managed to hit it back onto fairway but still some distance from the hole - 1g, 1y

Went for it with the hybrid
Onto the green, hit flag and dropped 6" from the hole - 4g

Easy putt in for a parp - 5g

[CAMiller]

I can only say I'm glad there's no half way cut. 2nd consecutive bogey for me.

1y
2y
1y+1g
4g
5g

[CAMiller]

Statistics July 10-16

2nd week in a row where the Madster team beat the Wordle World. Hardest word was Folly on the 10th with a 4.67 average (4.57 on MM) and easiest was FIEND on the 14th with a 3.71 average (3.57 on MM).

[CTMilller]

Dear oh dear oh dear! Made a right mess of that one.

First shot was more plop than fizz but at least had me going in the right direction though way over in the left side rough. Second shot got me back on the fairway but with little progress.

Third shot was powerful - but overpowered and way past the green.

Then it all fell apart. Chipped from behind but overshot again and into the front bunker. Out of there with my fifth but again too much speed saw me on the far side of the green.

Only a consolatory 16 yard sinking putt saved my embarrassment and kept me in it for a double bogey - a bit of luck I could have used earlier in my efforts at this hole.

Should I give this game up or perhaps adopt the approaches of my madster colleagues? Try drinking heavily and seducing the barstaff or maybe travel round the course with a wise-cracking harridan of a wife?

At least I missed that ****ing tree…

1y
1g
3g
3g
3g 1y
5g

[Adventus2012]

I dont know how I did it but another birdy here

0
1g 1y
5g

[ragingpup]

“RAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH” opened Mad Guppy F*cky Fisty Flurry.

“BLUUUURRRGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” replied Crone Joan

“F*CKING MEUAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH” topped OneEye Pieeye MucC*nty.

I’m having breakfast in Spoons to set me up for another spar of golfle and we are discussing the economic performance of the United Kingdom post Brexit.

“It clearly was a huge economic mistake, but the leave vote was expressing more than economic factors and that must be accounted for in any post Brexit analysis” said the sad watery Ghost of Kerr, who met his violent demise following a political disagreement with myself after hole 4 of the previous competition.

I leave the debate to venture onwards towards the Clubby, combat trousers bulging with giggling bottles of Russian Reject vodka to get me through til lunchtime. I pass an elderly couple who seem to be engaged in a violent argument, a warthog woman with a catfish face, repeatedly punching her husband square in the face whilst laughing mercilessly to herself. His bruised, bloody face faces towards the heavens clearly wishing death to come and save him.

“Morning Ronners” I call cheerily across the road. He smiles with what remains of his teeth and jaw, and as always gives me his cheery thumbs up. Same old, same old with Ronners. Every day.

At the Clubby, Fire is looking a little tired after last nights breast swinging escapades, and is still wearing the gaffa tape over her mouth which I pasted there to stop her screaming ‘Nigel, Oh Nigel’ when she orgasmed. Grist is still in the same position as yesterday, smiling quietly to himself.

Onto the starting grid. Slash, the ball flew into a tree which, through sheer force of being by so many Golfle balls slashed by equally sh1t Golfle players, promptly fell down, brutally squashing Topsy Tipsy who was having a cheeky flask behind said tree. Unlucky Tipsy. But lucky me, as the flask was still full of some home made super lethal chemical substance which as clearly driving Topsy’s tipsiness. I grasp this from his poor, flat and twitching corpse and avail myself of it’s contents in two full swallows. Illegal, but very f*cking nice. Cheers Tipsy. Better luck in the next life. (1y)

I slice the next shot using big bulbous bat (why not, there are no rules!) (Oh there are?) (F*ck). The best you can say is that it went in the right direction, albeit not very far, still some 8 Rileys coach lengths from the green thing with flag. (1g)

Next followed a magic trick. I snapped my fingers and everything suddenly went black. Complete f*cking void for everyone, lasting for no more than 3 seconds and then…

Lights up and lo, there I am on the green thing with flag and less than one and a half Richard Finney’s from the hole. (4g). I’d like to any of the other sad f*ckers on here do that. Magic, you see. I take a run up to the ball and slide headfirst across the green thing with flag slamming into the ball, which was nudged, rather unnerved I must say, into the hole for another Parp (5g). God I’m s*xy.

Happy with the rescue of a very dire situation, I headed back to the Clubby for a few more celebratory Leffes to try and combat the violent gut wrenches that Tipsy’s concoction had caused. As I entered, CT was just on his way onto the course, chained to a trolly like Hannibal Lecter with armed police, guns clearly poised in case CT tries any of his filthy moves. Slaver drools from the left side of his mouth, eyes gleaming with a demonic menace. He clearly has his eyes on a bird today.