It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World ………. is it ???

[Arblasterfromthepast]

It's far more complex than simply offering up working at the pit as a solution .

As I've pointed out up until the last 15 years nobody talked about mental health for fear of ridicule , for all you know many of your fellow miners could have experienced poor mental health and you wouldn't know it was that .

Breakdown in relationships is one area that leads to poor mental health and people today split with wives and partners more than they did , almost nobody when I was at school was brought up by a single parent for instance .

Society and communities have changed from what they once were and people move around the country more than they did due to work for example .

People can often feel isolated and disconnected today , we had more or less the same people on our street when I was growing up and now people don't put roots down as they once did .

Those are just a few examples and it's only the tip of the iceberg because as I say mental health is complex and it's a complex world today .

Made me smile this post Animal, especially the comments about knowing everyone on the same street and single parent families. It's amazing how much the world has changed. Having got to a similar age as you, I often think back to how things used to be.... 😁

[animallittle3]

Think you've raised some excellent and honest points there Animal. Being open to discussion on one's feelings is always deserving of respect and can prove helpful or relatable to anybody else who's suffering with mental health problems.

It was somewhat a taboo subject for gentlemen to be open about back in the 80s. The 80s was a tough decade for this town with the miners strike, pit closures, high unemployment, job losses, big debts etc. A lot of pressure and upheaval, hardships on an unprecedented level in modern day terms. I would imagine mental health was off the scale but not exposed which must've made life extremely difficult for most people but especially men who were generally the providers and in most cases became unable to provide thanks to the collapse of an industry. Homes and families under tremendous pressure. Dark times for many and an unbelievable struggle during the strike going so long without pay.

Folk showed a mental fortitude unparalleled to this day. Did the seige mentality and sheer determination override mental health? Were peoples mentalities stronger back then? Are we guilty in today's world of overreacting too quickly and putting mental health at the forefront in a bid to show no resilience within ourselves? Is mental health something that's become properly recognised because the heavyweight champion of the world suffers/suffered a mental health condition?

Personally speaking, my mental health hasn't been great in these last few years to say the least. It is difficult to live with and each day presents another challenge. There's a side to me which wants to get on with it and fight on through without creating a fuss or feeling self indulgent. There's also another side that wants to quit on things some days and stew in my pyss which isn't nice at all. Recognising when these feelings happen or are imminent is the key to handling and containing a more pragmatic approach towards dealing with my mental state and not allowing it to consume me.

Good post Pass .

The one thing that stood out about my previous struggles with mental health was that I was told that whilst we are here to support and advise , ultimately the improvements in my mental health are down to me , the man in the mirror .

What I'm seeing in many cases today but not totally by any means is that poor mental health can be used to cop out , not take personal responsibility and this has had in itself a poor reflection on attitudes towards mental health .

My daughters so called partner is a classic example , who will pull the mental health card out as an excuse not to work and support his partner and two kids , won't take any responsibility what so ever in life , a complete and utter waste of space .

In many cases going to work and having a routine to your life is one positive area that greatly helps your mental health .

My own problems were simply down to events in life , a very painful marriage breakup with a third party involved , this created huge financial problems , a house I couldn't sell other than below what was owed on it , I then was made redundant just after the financial crash in 2008 and the subsequent recession that occurred .

Everything simply collapsed around me in the space of 6 months and I totally broke down .

I was really ill , shut myself away and became isolated and disconnected , I couldn't cope with the outside world , I had panic attacks when I was shopping and it was busy , I could hardly bear to leave the little flat I ended up renting .

Slowly and I do mean slowly I started to put myself back together , regained some confidence and self esteem , found a job but it didn't happen overnight by any means , it took years and that was with support and advise but as I said it only goes so far and you have to mend yourself with the tools the support system gives you .

Here's the thing , I've remarried , lucky to have a wonderful wife , soul mate , two lovely grandkids and in the best financial position in my entire life .

My struggles weren't the end of me , they were the beginning of a better life .

Life's a bloody journey .

[pass_and_move]

Good post Pass .

The one thing that stood out about my previous struggles with mental health was that I was told that whilst we are here to support and advise , ultimately the improvements in my mental health are down to me , the man in the mirror .

What I'm seeing in many cases today but not totally by any means is that poor mental health can be used to cop out , not take personal responsibility and this has had in itself a poor reflection on attitudes towards mental health .

My daughters so called partner is a classic example , who will pull the mental health card out as an excuse not to work and support his partner and two kids , won't take any responsibility what so ever in life , a complete and utter waste of space .

In many cases going to work and having a routine to your life is one positive area that greatly helps your mental health .

My own problems were simply down to events in life , a very painful marriage breakup with a third party involved , this created huge financial problems , a house I couldn't sell other than below what was owed on it , I then was made redundant just after the financial crash in 2008 and the subsequent recession that occurred .

Everything simply collapsed around me in the space of 6 months and I totally broke down .

I was really ill , shut myself away and became isolated and disconnected , I couldn't cope with the outside world , I had panic attacks when I was shopping and it was busy , I could hardly bear to leave the little flat I ended up renting .

Slowly and I do mean slowly I started to put myself back together , regained some confidence and self esteem , found a job but it didn't happen overnight by any means , it took years and that was with support and advise but as I said it only goes so far and you have to mend yourself with the tools the support system gives you .

Here's the thing , I've remarried , lucky to have a wonderful wife , soul mate , two lovely grandkids and in the best financial position in my entire life .

My struggles weren't the end of me , they were the beginning of a better life .

Life's a bloody journey .

Inspiring story Animal and fair play to you for your brutal honesty

Metaphorically speaking, I regard life like a mountain, you seek to conquer it and reach the summit. However, you never reach the summit do you. There's an avalanche that takes you from near the summit back to the very bottom and the challenge starts all over again.

[Dingle council]

Big Credit to you animal
The strength you’ve shown is admirable

[SBRed48]

Thought provoking posts from both Pass and Animal.

Confirms how insignificant it is in the big picture whet happens at Oakwell or elsewhere in football.

[POGGYWELL]

Great post and bravely explained may I say Animal.
Pleased to hear on what you have now achieved and well deserved too.
Your signing off line sums things up perfectly.

[animallittle3]

Inspiring story Animal and fair play to you for your brutal honesty

Metaphorically speaking, I regard life like a mountain, you seek to conquer it and reach the summit. However, you never reach the summit do you. There's an avalanche that takes you from near the summit back to the very bottom and the challenge starts all over again.

I bloody hope not Pass , I ain't going through that shyte again mate lol lol !!

[animallittle3]

Much appreciate your supportive comments , whilst I said it was ultimately down to me to fix my mental health I don't know how things would have turned out had I not had the support of Mental Health Charity M.I.N.D. .

Two other things also occurred that formed my rehabilitation , by absolutely chance I was offered to work with a Sparky who had his own business , a bit of labouring as and when required when he needed it .

It got me up on a morning and out of the house , no pressure at all , it became 5 days a week in the end and travelling all over South Yorkshire , West Yorkshire and Nottinghamshire on jobs , I even learned some new and handy skills .

It prepared me for the workplace again in my own time and at my own pace which I eventually did and got back in to workplace , hmm paying a bit of tax , nudge nudge , say no more .

The 2008 FA Cup run to the semi final was also instrumental in just about keeping me going , a bit of light in some real dark days , I wasn't about to do anything stupid whilst this cup run was in play that much I did know .

[pass_and_move]

Thinking about the 2008 Cup run, it cropped up as I went through my Dad's football memorabilia collection. Newspaper cuttings of us winning at Anfield, the amazing night at home to Chelsea. Wow, that was a fantastic memory. We went to Wembley me, mi bro and Dad. Absolutely gutted after losing. The Cup final was within reach wasn't it. Bloody hell, that Odejayi miss will haunt me forever.

However, the memory of that Cup run was superb. Mi Dad queued for hours in the freezing cold to get the Anfield tickets for me and ar kid as we were working in Daventry at the time. The famous Don Rowing fiasco wasn't it. Pyss up and brewery spring to mind.

Reading Animals story, it's crazy how much this game means to people. I'm a fanatic too and feel the same along with many others. Solace can be found following a football club. Despair obviously can too let me add but the good times when they come mean that much more.

The most gutted I've ever been watching this club was at Wembley in 2000. That was a hard one to take. So too was last May and as I mentioned, the loss to Cardiff in the semis. Losing at St James's Park in the FA Cup quarters to Newcastle in 98.


The great memories are treasured though aren't they. In my Dad's collection I also found the Chronicle supplements from Cardiff 2006, Wembley 2016 and Premiership 97. Reading through them was like going into a time capsule briefly. Stirred my memories and med me smile.


It's not just a game is it, it's a religion.