Brins Friday night Jokes - If easily offended F***ing don't read it!

[Brin]

My Wife asked what I was doing on the computer…'looking for cheap flights' I said…

she said 'Ooh, I love you' dropped to her knees and gave me a great blow job…which came as a complete surprise …I never knew she was interested in darts!

[Brin]

I've got an interview tomorrow for an Argos delivery driver…..

To show them I'll fit in I'll turn up anytime between 7am to 7pm….

[Brin]

my ex Girlfriend told me she had bought a vibrator 1 inch bigger than me…..F.ucking hell I've never seen 5 Foot 10 inch vibrator before...

[Adventus2012]

most women would be happy to be woken up on their birthday with breakfast in bed, flowers and 20 minutes of great oral ***! but Oh no! not my sister!

[Brin]

Scouser went to court caused of having *** with a cat….

The judge dismissed the case saying that in his 30 years as a judge he had never known a scouter put anything into a kitty!

[Brin]

Went for a job on building site yesterday…'Can you make tea?' the foreman said…

'Yes' I replied….

'Can you drive a forklift truck?' he asked…..

'F.uck me ..how big is your teapot?'

[Adventus2012]

Prince Charles was visiting a nursing home. He asks a 93 year old lady "have you been bed-ridden since you've been here?

She replies "A couple of times. But I prefer being fecked up the ar5e on the sofa"

[Brin]

Lucky last…..

Catholic girl goes to confession….

Says to the Priest ' I'm pregnant'…

'How come your pregnant child?' asks the priest…

'I think it's the second coming father'

Shocked by the revelation ' Tell me child what makes you think it's the second coming?'

'Because I swallowed the first'……..

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

Woman goes to the dentist, the dentist told the woman to sit in the chair, before she sat down she pulled her dress up & removed her knickers, then sitting in the chair with her legs wide open.
The dentist says, " Excuse me madam I'm a dentist not a gynecologist ".



She replies, " Yes I know, can you get my husbands false teeth back ".