O/T David Beckham joke.

[ex_pat_magpie]

��Better not mate.

I'll show her your post and give her your address for her next visit to Cape Town

[bobbyv9]

Alex Ferguson was on Who wants to be a millionaire and got to the final round only using two of his lives.

Chris Tarrent says "Right Alex, for one million pounds, what lives in sets, foxes, badgers or cuckoos".

Fergie strokes his chin and says "well I can illiminate foxes because they live in lairs but I'm not quite sure about the other two and don't want to guess so can I phone a friend".

Tarrent replies "Of course, who do you want"

Fergie nominates David Beckham and they ring him up.

Fergie explains it's a choice of two and says to Beckham " David, what lives in sets badgers or cuckoos"

Beckham thinks for a few seconds and then says "Alex the answer is badgers"

"Are you sure " says Fergie "Positive" replys Beckham, so Fergie comes away with One Million quid.

When the party at the studio is over he rings Beckham to thank him and says "Thanks David but how were you so sure the answer was badgers.

Beckham answers "well boss I really didn't know the answer but it was a process of illimination because I knew cuckoos lived in clocks"

😂

[ex_pat_magpie]

Little old Scottish spinster goes into the village grocers on an icey, very cold January morning and can't see him in the shop.

She waits a wee while then looks in the back store room where he is standing back to the open stove clasping his hands behind his back.

She calls out to attract his attention and says "Is that your Ayrshire bacon?"

To which he replies "No, I'm just warreming me hands"

[Milburn9]

I'll show her your post and give her your address for her next visit to Cape Town

Oh Sh1t. Zip please ban me.....

[ex_pat_magpie]

Oh Sh1t. Zip please ban me.....

She's a big lass and swings a mean left hook.

[ARAbCHNID]

One entrepreneur says to another, 'I've just been in the Far East prospecting for gold'.
'Japan?' asks the second entrepreneur.
'Gosh no,' he replies. 'I used much more scientific methods'.

[Cannylad]

One entrepreneur says to another, 'I've just been in the Far East prospecting for gold'.
'Japan?' asks the second entrepreneur.
'Gosh no,' he replies. 'I used much more scientific methods'.

Very similar to, "I took the wife on holiday to the West Indies, his mate says, "Jamaica" ? he says "No, she went of her own accord"

[Milburn9]

One entrepreneur says to another, 'I've just been in the Far East prospecting for gold'.
'Japan?' asks the second entrepreneur.
'Gosh no,' he replies. 'I used much more scientific methods'.

😂

[Milburn9]

2020 Chinese emojis:

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[pboromag]

came home last night and mymate had two new porsches on his drive and a new amg .there was also a honda civic

i knocked on hs door
bloody hell ivan
you won the lottery

no he says im not well

why whats wrong i asked

i have car owner virus