O/T A Story.

[Hazza Has A Gazza]

Elvis impersonator for the Christmas do. That carpenter that doubled up as a David Bowie tribute act (Ziggy Sawdust) last year was rubbish. A guy in the background stood up, he was dressed in Choirboy robes and said " Brothers my name is IBS and I think we should go down a more traditional route this Christmas and hIre Zippy who is an absolutely brilliant. ...........

... hitman. After seeing off Bugsy Miller with Bugsy's own tommy gun, Zippy was hired by the Millersmad hierarchy to seek out and execute Mandy Turner. After capturing the rascal, Zippy the hitman received orders to torture and kill. "Any last requests?" said Zippy, calmly, as he gave Mandy a ferocious Chinese Burn. "Yes, actually" said Mandy, "would you....

[wrinkly]

... hitman. After seeing off Bugsy Miller with Bugsy's own tommy gun, Zippy was hired by the Millersmad hierarchy to seek out and execute Mandy Turner. After capturing the rascal, Zippy the hitman received orders to torture and kill. "Any last requests?" said Zippy, calmly, as he gave Mandy a ferocious Chinese Burn. "Yes, actually" said Mandy, "would you....

Tell the lads on MM to remember me fondly and to stop accusing all the new posters of being me.

Meanwhile the hiker with the joke book, resplendent in a well-worn cardie, is shouting at a sour-faced Richard Wilson look-alike who has just arrived. The newcomer is wearing a t-shirt with a big smiley on the front and "live and let live" written on the back. He too is carrying a joke book - "the big boys book of BBQ jokes", which appears to have only one page.

"I'm telling ya pal it's all a load of bollix" he screams "I know for a fact that the moon doesn't even exist!"
"how could you see something a quarter of a million miles away?"
"It's a giant inflatable just a few miles above us. They're not fooling me"

"anyway, what's with the t-shirt? A bit out of character isn't it?"

"sssh" says the grumpy looking bloke
"I'm undercover"
"I've had a report that the Landlord here is actually a bloody woman!" he splutters.
"what's more she actually lets other women in the pub on a Sunday Lunchtime!" "effing pudding burners! It's PC gone mad. They'll be wanting the vote next"

A deathly hush falls over the place as a man bursts through the door. covered in new romantic makeup and wearing a "come dine with me" apron. "I'M BACK" he cackles manically.

"chuffin ell. Thats all we need" groans .......

[Lolmorgan]

Mikemiller, a millersmad legend with over 30,000 posts to his name dressed as a woman & thinks he’s Italian.Look Mike my real names not Gino so ....

[rileyev.the.third]

So pipe yersen down. Me and a few others made this board what it is, we created the glory years pal and don't you forget it, in fact one of my pals is just settling up with the cab driver. At that point the doors fly open and a bloke clearly worse for wear falls ar5e over t!t sending a table flying and drinks everywhere. He stands up looks around and says what you f@ckers looking at, you want some. A voice at the back nudges his mate and says look who's there its only bloody.......

[Lolmorgan]

Villa miller late for the madster meet.Look lads he says......

[rileyev.the.third]

We've got to do summat about this bloke Multi. Shall I just knock him out or what. Kempo replied I am a master of martial arts but cannot condone violence. Millmoormagic shouts "knock him out Villa" to which Villa walks towards Kempo and...........

[Lolmorgan]

Villas mrs shouts sit down you silly bugger thas just had a heart attack I’ll clock him,Kempo says......

[rileyev.the.third]

I'm in!!! Undefeated against women apart from Dolly Wilson off Town Street Canklow and she effing cheated. Come on Mrs Villa give me your best, don't hold back. Mrs Villa threw a sidewinder and......

[mellowmiller]

...accidentally smacked mellowmiller in the mouth as he straightened up after adjusting his.......

[rileyev.the.third]

Slightly crooked stance trying to pot the black in a pool game against TFA for fifty quid. He still hit the black and it flew in the middle pocket. TFA was livid and said Mellow you poxy tw@t, I'm not f@cking having that, walked towards him pool cue raised and..........