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Thread: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

  1. #1

    The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Kevin trudged gloomily into Uncle Sam’s office and sat down on a huge pile of player performance stats. “Thou has landed me in right mess” growled Uncle Sam. He opened his tenth pack of gum that morning and carried on. “I promised your Mum and Dad that you would always be in the team, no matter what was in the stats, but your recent behaviour has put me in a very difficult position.”

    Kevin flapped his wings and stuck out his chin and retorted “but Uncle Sam, you always told me to stick tight, stand on their toes and kick it if it moved!” “Aye lad” grunted Uncle Sam but he continued “I meant the ball if it moved, not the opponent.”

    Kevin was puzzled and commented “but I thought you did not like ball movement in open play”. Uncle Sam nodded sagely, spat out gum and drawled “that is true young Kevin. The ball needs to be dead still so that it can be hoofed proper. That’s why I want free kicks so that our trusty centre half, JC, can whack ‘em up field. You are meant to block the opposin

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    10,960

    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Have you got a day job Trev?

  3. #3

    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    avit, thanks for your message. Fortunately, in this day and age I do have a day job but nothing to do with writing this kind of thing. Instead of posting a standard mope on the grim state of affairs I thought I would try it in storybook form.

  4. #4
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    Jun 2007
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    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Quote Originally Posted by TrevandDev
    avit, thanks for your message. Fortunately, in this day and age I do have a day job but nothing to do with writing this kind of thing. Instead of posting a standard mope on the grim state of affairs I thought I would try it in storybook form.


    Well I thought it was funny T&D, don't worry about Avit, he's a proper c.unt.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    10,960

    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Quote Originally Posted by hammeredhome
    avit, thanks for your message. Fortunately, in this day and age I do have a day job but nothing to do with writing this kind of thing. Instead of posting a standard mope on the grim state of affairs I thought I would try it in storybook form.


    Well I thought it was funny T&D, don't worry about Avit, he's a proper c.unt.[/quote]

    your missus must be away for the weekend or she's set your curfew later

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    16,822

    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Quote Originally Posted by avit
    avit, thanks for your message. Fortunately, in this day and age I do have a day job but nothing to do with writing this kind of thing. Instead of posting a standard mope on the grim state of affairs I thought I would try it in storybook form.


    Well I thought it was funny T&D, don't worry about Avit, he's a proper c.unt.[/quote]

    your missus must be away for the weekend or she's set your curfew later [/quote]


    No and yes.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,538

    re: The adventures of Uncle Sam and Kevin, the Boy Wonder

    Very good TrevDev. I read it first speed-reading and adjudged "Crap"; read again later slower and see it's essence. Satire is the best vehicle for ridicule.

    In an interview on YouTube SA references the song Prince Charming. The line "Ridicule is nothing to be scared off". Even when serious,he is still a "Walter-Mitty character" and that in essence defines him.Dinosaur is too clumsy.

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