Kidnapped

[Psaw]

Im communicating to you through an alien console that is controlled by thought. Im on an alien space ship. My "living quarters" have been prepared like a human would prepare a pen for a pig or a horse.

A space map is in front of me with a galaxy highlighted, the milky way is highligted and is 6.5 billion light years away.

HELP.

I known ive cried wolf, but this is real. Ive went to bed last night, then found myself here. I havent met my kidnappers yet.

And yes alfincambo, ill be watching the tour de france on the console.

Any suggestions for escape would be helpful. If you dont hear from me again ive come to a bad end. Ive tried to contact Rachel on our computer. Weve spent our last night together i fear. Contact the Americans, there in contact with aliens, they might have to pay a ransom.

[alfinyalcabo]

You open the door in front of you and you have three choices.

Turn left
Turn right
Go forward.

What are you going to do ?

[chalky-ncfc]

When i went away for a couple of months there was this bloke who i thought shouldnt have been in there,then one morning he came up to me and whispered in my ear if that it was me that he saw in the corridor fighting the aliens at 2am...

Dont worry Frank,everything is ok,i know where you are...

[Psaw]

Im shocked at the lack of empathy. What have i done to deserve this? In case your interested, by situation has worsened. The Aliens that kidnapped me, decent fellows after all, have their own alien problem. Having learnt i was in captivity, the aliens of the aliens kidnapped me for themselves.

The prospect of a return to Earth is even more remote. Aliens 2 live in a world toxic to me, im kept alive as a bowl of water would keep a goldfish alive.

I do have access to a computer that rates the emotions of living things, and i can say Chalky your big heartedness rating is extraordinarly high.

Alfincanabolo rates highly in practicality. Kel rates highly in the c nt spheres. Floppys ratings are in the dodgy spheres. Buc rates highly in niceness.

There is an underfground escape movement, they may be able to rescue me.

Thanks for all your non existent help, Jordan Bialystok.

[kel_]

Maybes they chose you Frank cos you have an funny coloured heed like them. It's best youse stay with your own kind.

[moorlad]

Kel has an point Frank, even though I of never met youse (unlike some off of the rest off of these ****s), I of to say youse do sound like an bit off of an mental. In fact judging by some off of your posts youse do sound an bit off of an alien, so youse perhaps would fit in quite well.

The playing deed thing were quite funny to be fair. However the babby thing were ****e, and nowhere near up to your usual high standard.

[Psaw]

Moorlad, Not everything i post is a joke. My death, as reported by me was not a joke, even though i said it was. How i am communicating with you is not up for discussion.

You wouldnt believe it if i told you. The baby thing was not a joke, it is true. It is in THE HOLOCAUST by Martin Gilbert. Read it for yourself.

Having died, i inhabit a different plane. Even there kidnapping by aliens occurs. That is also true.

The things i do joke about is being a Cambridge fan. I was a fan of Todmorden fc, even though i was from Thurso, and had never set foot in Todmorden. I never lived in Birmingham, i had a laptop in a cave in Bielorussia.

I am not mental, my life as it was was a hotchpotch of differing events leading to the above.

A word of support wouldnt go amiss, ive had a tough time. My current situation is that escape plans are in hand.

By the way, how many of you gripe about inconsequential things from this board and that board is very female.

Its like your all about to crac

[moorlad]

The baby thing was not a joke, it is true. It is in THE HOLOCAUST by Martin Gilbert. Read it for yourself.

Youse daft hooer, I meant youse pretending to be an babby.

[Psaw]

Oh that. Errr, hmmmm. That wernt me., my posting was intercepted by unknown forces.

[Floppy_funbags]

Have yous been 'probed' yet Frank? Or are they not 'that sort' of aliens?