Christmas cracker jokes...

[claw84]

I know that they make you grimace more than grin but that's the beauty of them, essential part of Xmas. Here's a contribution===

What's the best Xmas present ever
A broken drum
Why?
You can't beat it.

[Altobelli]

'What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve...

[claw84]

Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's eve party.

He had no body to go with.

[Altobelli]

Why has Noddy got a hat with a bell on it?
Because he's a tw@t.

[Altobelli]

What does a sperm and a lawyer have in common?
They both have a one in a billion chance of becoming a human.


I'm opening all the bloody crackers finding these

[alfinyalcabo]

You can beat an egg,but you can't beat a good w@nk..

[gaz1959]

Oxford Utd

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Knock Knock! - who's there? - Tish! - TishWho? - Bless you!

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How do you call an elephant? - Make a trunk call

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Alto's preddie for boxing day

[gaz1959]

QUICK COME AND SEE MY YULE TIME LOG












IT DEFINITELY WILL NEED TWO FLUSHES!!!

[gaz1959]

WE HAVE TURKEY WITH ALL MY BEARD TRIMMINGS

[gaz1959]

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.