Cambridge 1 Stevenage 1 A Match report

[Psaw]

On entering the Abbey stadium, i had an attitude of a cow entering a slaughter house, and knowing it. I was not to be dissapointed, as all my assumptions about football were to be MURDERED horribly.

Upon kick off there was much haste, to no result, much slashing and hacking at the ball, to propel it in all directions. If the ball found its way to a Cambridge player, the recipient would be absent upon the balls arrival, like he had seen a rare bird, and had run after it to see it better, forgetting the game completely.

At no time did a Cambridge player ever have full control over the football, it being a bar of soap, with the player in possession realising something was demanded of him, with a resultant look of horror on his face, and then dispatching the ball to the opposition immediately and effectively.

I was awe stricken at this, inflicting a mental torture that only algebra can inflict, as well as Donaldson, the main culprit, who shakes his head in criticism of his team mates,

[griff]

Wait, wait, wait Frank, hold on there.

YOU'VE got A SON??

[Psaw]

Using a powerful calculater after the game, we put an extra shilling in to get the right result. United have had FOURTEEN players on loan this season.

Isnt there supposed to be a limit?

My free transfers at the end of the season.

Liam Hughes. Richard Tait. Ryan Donaldson. Ian Miller. Rory Gaffney. Harrison Dunk. Matteo Lanzoni, the worst signing since Paddy Rayment. John Chidozie, and most of the rest.