Mid-Week Fun

[gaz1959]

>> *Men* *vs* *Women
>>
>>
>> *A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and*
>>
>> *buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.*
>>
>> *A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.*
>>
>> *The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"*
>>
>> *He replied, "They had avocados."*
>>
>> *If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again. Men will
>> get it the first time.*
>>
>>
>>
>> *Water in the carburettor*
>>
>> *WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."*
>>
>> *HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous "*
>>
>> *WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."*
>>
>> *HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out.
>> Where's the car?*
>>
>> *WIFE: "In the river"*
>>
>>
>>
>> *This is a frightening* *statistic !*
>>
>> *25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.*
>>
>> *That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.*
>>
>>
>> *He must pay !*
>>
>> *Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her Mum and said, "He fought
>> with me again, I am coming to live with you."*
>>
>> *Mum said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live
>> with you.*
>>
>>
>>
>> *Today’s Short Reading From the Bible…*
>>
>> *From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be
>> found in all corners of the earth."*
>>
>> *Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!*


>>>>> After the accident, late in the night, he finally regained consciousness.
>>>>> He opened his eyes. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain.
>>>>> He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms,
>>>>> a breathing mask on his face, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him.
>>>>> He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation.
>>>>> The nurse was kind and attractive. She gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly
>>>>> and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
>>>>> Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your breasts then?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS “A POSITIVE ATTITUDE"
>>>>

[donnytyke]

Have you been whatching repeats of the Lez Dawson show gaz 😂

[gaz1959]

Have you been whatching repeats of the Lez Dawson show gaz ��

lol it looks like the guy that keeps emailing the jokes does

[frenchlion]

I was at a party the other week when a mate of mine showed me a little blue pill and asked me if I wanted one.
I said "What is it?" He said "Viagra"..."Viagra?? I don't need it" I replied.
My wife who was listening said "Go on take one"
"But I don't need it" I insisted. "I know" she said "but it could be fun"
Fun!! FFS!
I asked my mate where he got them from as normally I believe you need a doctor's prescription.
"Don't worry they are legit but they cost 10 euro a shot" He said
I begrudgingly handed over my 10€ for something that I didn't want

A couple of days later the wife was in one of those moods that you can't ignore if you value your peace and well being.
" Let's try the little blue pill" She said,
OK, I thought to myself...might as well get it over and done with.

Fantastic!! IT lasted for 3 and a quarter hours..incredible. But as the wife said " For the extra 15 minutes it wasn't worth 10 euro"

[donnytyke]

I was at a party the other week when a mate of mine showed me a little blue pill and asked me if I wanted one.
I said "What is it?" He said "Viagra"..."Viagra?? I don't need it" I replied.
My wife who was listening said "Go on take one"
"But I don't need it" I insisted. "I know" she said "but it could be fun"
Fun!! FFS!
I asked my mate where he got them from as normally I believe you need a doctor's prescription.
"Don't worry they are legit but they cost 10 euro a shot" He said
I begrudgingly handed over my 10€ for something that I didn't want

A couple of days later the wife was in one of those moods that you can't ignore if you value your peace and well being.
" Let's try the little blue pill" She said,
OK, I thought to myself...might as well get it over and done with.

Fantastic!! IT lasted for 3 and a quarter hours..incredible. But as the wife said " For the extra 15 minutes it wasn't worth 10 euro"

It's a shame there isn't an imoji for tumble weed mate lol

[gaz1959]

I took a soluble viagra once.

The fek dissolved in my throat!!!

Yep - I had a stiff neck for 3hrs and 15 minutes

[donnytyke]

I took a soluble viagra once.

The fek dissolved in my throat!!!

Yep - I had a stiff neck for 3hrs and 15 minutes

Alf likes to disolve them into his lidl yogurt 😆

[alfinyalcabo]

Alf likes to disolve them into his lidl yogurt ��

That's why I'm still performing for two hours every night at my age.. Don't knock it till you've tried it Donny.

[frenchlion]

i took a soluble viagra once.

The fek dissolved in my throat!!!

Yep - i had a stiff neck for 3hrs and 15 minutes

:d:d:dû

[frenchlion]

:d:d:dû

Don't understand why the smilies don't work or appear half the time