many may be aware i have to see a shrink every 3 months
my homework from this visit is she wants me to think what i would have put in a dating advert when i was 25-28 and what i would put in one know that i am 55
i dont know here reasoning behind it yet but there were 9 of us at the meeting and we ll talked about it afterwards an it seems a good idea
if you had to do it how would yours read ?
He was shot in the @rse by a gay sniper.
I'd just be totally honest, I'm a right stinking mess.
I'm clean but regularly smell of skin back cheesy prawns on the regular occasions that my skin peels back a little bit with passing thoughts.
I have piles but not bum busters.
I have the @rse of a pole dancer but the gut of a greedy b@stard.
After sitting on a cloth seat for a while there sometimes can be a smell of @rse left behind. Not terrible but a bit niffy, if you get my meaning.
I'm a bit of a baldy git due to my receding hair of which I refuse to allow to grow like a Rab C Nesbitt hamlet cigar advert.
I hate to wear jewelry of any description, which also includes a watch...although the watch is negotiable.
Surprisingly I don't have sweaty feet but my bell end and @rse make up for that.
I never have hanging nose hair because I use one of those nose thingies, like a fat pen up yer nose.
Same with my lugs.
I know it sounds bad but here's my better points, if you can call them better.
I never have greasy hair.
I'm clean shaven.
I wear clean duds every day, believe it or not.
I wear the same socks for a week due to my feet not stinking. Actually that's probably not a better point, if any are.
I have all my own teeth except for two false ones and they're not too bad for my age which is 50.......ish.
Oh, one more thing.
I do tend to dribble a little bit after a wee which is probably why my bell end stinks like a cave full of dead crab,lobsters, rotten fish and a massive selection of rotten molluscs all festering in a thick pool of Limburger cheese.
What's my chances?
I fart a lot after drinking beer or eating bread or pasta,I should go gluten free but at my age I can't be bothered.
I have always managed to keep my gas to myself on a date however.