O/T Friday neet joke thread ( 18+ please don't read if easily offended)

[Brin]

Evenin.......a quick one to get us started.....feel free to contribute as the night passes us by.


Why does a witch not wear panties when flying?


Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.

[Brin]

Only just found out that the police actually raided Michael Jackson's home for drugs before he died.

Class A drugs were found in one room

Class B drugs were found in the bathroom and class C were found in his bedroom....

[Brin]

What do you call an incestuous nephew?


An aunt-eater.

[Brin]

What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?



Melt them into a tyre and call it a goodyear.

[Brin]

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?



One stops sucking when you slap it.

[Back of the net]

What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker.

[Brin]

How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house?


Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the f.ucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

[Brin]

What’s the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?

Get off of me Dad, you’re crushing my cigarettes.

[Brin]

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?


Because a sheep can hear a zip from like a mile away.

[Brin]

Why did the redneck cross the road?



Because he couldn’t get his dick out of the chicken.