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Thread: O/T Tuesday neet joke night....easily offended then go be a traffic warden....

  1. #1
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    O/T Tuesday neet joke night....easily offended then go be a traffic warden....

    Didn't mean to offend the softies in the header so let's start with a few light hearted quickies....

    I'm going to a deodorant party at the weekend.......

    roll on Saturday.

  2. #2
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    Paddy wanted to sell his car so his mate told him to wind the mileage back a bit and he would get a better price.

    He saw him a few days later and asked how he got on. Paddy said when he finished winding it back it only had 7000 on the clock so he decided to keep it.

  3. #3
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    Breaking news!

    Man is shot 200 with upholstery gun.........Surgeons reveal he is now fully recovered.

  4. #4
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    My next door neighbour knocked on my door waring just a negligee and asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then winked at me and asked to come in for a cup of coffee.

    I said, 'F.uck off Dave!'

  5. #5
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    Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and I thought to myself, I wonder what his handicap is?

  6. #6
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    The Seven dwarves were told that from Monday they can meet in a group of Six. One of then isn't happy.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Brin View Post
    Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and I thought to myself, I wonder what his handicap is?
    Club foot?

  8. #8
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    Brought one of the lads round the house for dinner last night and Amanda was not happy.

    'My hair isn't done, the house is a a mess, the dishes are dirty and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why did you bring him home for?'

    'He's thinking of getting married!'

  9. #9
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    My Girlfriend just asked me what I was doing on thr computer?

    I said, 'I'm looking for cheap flights'. She got all excited and said, 'I love you'. She then got on her knees and gave the best blow job ever I've ever had.......which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before

  10. #10
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    Big fight at a gypsy wedding in Ireland, goes to court and the judge says, 'Can anyone explain what happened?"

    Paddy says, ' I can, I was the best man and I was dancing with the bride. We were dancing quite close when the groom stormed up and kicked her in the fanny.

    'I see', says the judge. 'That must have hurt'

    'Bloody right' says Paddy. 'He broke three of my fingers!'

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