It was a dark night and I decided to take a short cut home through the fields.
A sudden gust of wind blew all my clothes off.
I then slid on a cow pat, stumbled and fell, and part of my body entered the sheep.
This is the point at which the photograph, which you have all seen, was taken.

I have nothing further to say about the matter, and I trust that you will allow me and my family the necessary privacy at this difficult time for us.