I have picked six games, five of which were away wins.

1) Arsenal 0 Burnley 1. After years of misery and daylight robbery against the Gunners our struggling season gets up and running as Xhaka is sent off for violent conduct and Aubameyang so frequently the scourge of the Clarets heads a perfect own goal. Justice!

2) Liverpool 0 Burnley 1. We start the rot for Liverpool at Anfield as Ashley Barnes wins and scores the decisive penalty ending the Reds 68 game unbeaten home run. Other teams soon follow our lead but they are just “herring gulls following the trawler”.

3) Burnley 3 Aston Villa 2. Twice behind against a fully Grealished Aston Villa Burnley deservedly hit back to take all 3 points. Nick Pope was brilliant denying Villa time and time again in a first half dominated by the visitors. For Villa it was a shock as they had won all the previous 9 PL games where they had taken the lead this season.

4) Crystal Palace 0 Burnley 3. The Clarets simply blew away a limp Eagles side with 2 goals in the opening 10 minutes. Matt Lowton added a stunning third goal which should have been goal of the month by a country mile but I suspect the award went to that little tw*t Bruno Fernandes. The scale and manner of Palace’s defeat prompted the usual outpourings of how could we lose to that f*ckin pub team Burnley. I didn’t become a Palace supporter to watch our team getting thrashed like this etc.

5) Everton 1 Burnley 2. Just one word necessary. McNeil! Another GOTM contender that “lost out” to a big 6 club.

6) Wolves 0 Burnley 4. Chris Wood sets all kinds of records with his first half hat-trick in a superb team performance. Our biggest top flight away win since beating Sunderland 4-0 in November 1965 and a first top flight double over Wolves since the 1956-57 season.