I must urge him to turn to religion, as he has stated he hopes to sign players soon, he did insert the word " good" there, but he cant resign average players from last season.

Hope indeed. What doesnt help either is that Bonners grandfather was an ape, and despite that, kept United up. Its a bit like Michio Kaku seeing aliens, or Barry putting his hand in his pocket.

If Bonner is catholic, he should go to church every day, that can only help, even during matches. There was a Reading manager in the 1930s who went to the pub during matches to re appear at full time, asking fans how the team was doing.

If he goes to church often enough, surely a miracle will occur, further frustrating the trap door. Do the club still have a priest, i remember the last one, he had earrings. The only way United can win is too recruit god on their side, and gods involvement is complex, will he win every game resulting in played 46 won 46, or just keeping them up?

I cheated in a french test at St Bedes, i wasnt stupid enough to get 100 per cent as easy as it was. Ha, St Bedes run like an army camp by that loon Kent.

If they win 46 the FA will investigate the use use of substances, bribes, cheating of all sorts, and will find a den of iniquity.

Why not rope in as many as you can, the Holy Profit from Mecca might be interested, after all, wont you miss kick into your own goal with hairy Islamists holding Scimitars on the touchline?

And the Mormons and Jehovahs, dang, they will want 12 per cent of the gate income.

Orgasmic United defeats coming, roll on kick off.