Stressed and could do with venting

[leftnutsack]

Hi

This isn't about football - so feel free to stop reading - I am just venting and dont have anywhere else to go.

I am knocking on a bit - the next big one for me is the big "80". My neighbour is a bit of a dick, but generally we never talk and usually everything is ok. Last week I was out in the garden and he came out and had a go at me. I have an overhanging apple tree that is dropping its last apples in his back yard (i know i know - apples in december). It is my fault, and I have somebody booked in to trim it back. I accept all responsibility for it.

My neighbour was right to be angry that it was not yet sorted, but he was very abusive towards me, and the conversation made me understand that if it isnt sorted soon, i might need to remove some of the debris from an area the sun doesnt shine.

Fine.... no worries, I am not after confrontation. However, I was a little shaken, and will just keep my distance from him.

Later that night I recieved a call from my son - he could tell I was a little shaken when we spoke, and asked me what was wronf. My son always comes over for christmas - and has told me that he is going to knock on my neighbours door and 'put him in his place' and "show him what time of day it is" (whatever that means).

I do not want this. Not for me, or my son. I am not worried for my son's safety, he has fought MMA and kickboxing professionally in the past (he is in his late 40s now but still trains and teaches).


But my son is stubborn - he wont listen to me, ever - I am so stressed that he will do something that he will have to carry consequences for. He just does not listen - i cant face the stress of waiting for the next two weeks just to have it all kick off at my front door on christmas day!.

He has a history of losing his temper and he always means well, and only loses his temper with people he thinks are "bullys" but his actions almost always result in physical confrontations when he gets like this.

And to top it off, he doesnt care that after he "sorts this for me", he goes back home down south and i have to stay here and put up with the aftermath. He cant see the big picture and just let this pass.

I have no idea how any of you can help - i just wanted to vent - i just wish he wasnt so stubborn, and that sometimes he would listen to me.

Im thinking of pretending i have been invited elsewhere for christmas, and therefore stopping him visiting. But that way ill not see my granddaughter, and I only see her once or twice a year at most anyway.

Sorry for venting - ill probably delete this soon...

But my son wont see it - he isnt a football fan.


Anyway, if you read this far - well done.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

For Christmas buy your son an Anger Management Course and insists he gets on it early.

Failing that try and find a sympathetic Bizzie and have him visit around the time your son arrives.

I'm not sure of where you live but the Burnley Bizzies would certainly assist you if you showed them this email.

They are not all baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'strds

[leftnutsack]

For Christmas buy your son an Anger Management Course and insists he gets on it early.

Failing that try and find a sympathetic Bizzie and have him visit around the time your son arrives.

I'm not sure of where you live but the Burnley Bizzies would certainly assist you if you showed them this email.

They are not all baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'strds

:-) Thanks

I agree they are not - thats actually a nice reply and a good idea. I actually didnt expect to hear anything helpful, i was just venting - but thats not a bad idea :-)
Thank you

I am scheduled to speak to my son on the phone later tonight after he finishes teaching his class. I might tell him that I have asked the police to deal with this for me instead - not sure why i didnt think of telling him that off myself. Thanks

[The Bedlington Terrier]

De nada.

[kritichris]

it's the old story, being caught between a rock and a hard place or in your case between a cock and a hard case. Joking aside I hope it gets resolved, your son should be more appreciative of your situation when he disappears down south. Falling out with neighbours is best avoided because they can make your life a misery. I'd try and get the tree sorted as soon as poss and knock the neighbour off your Xmas card list. Good luck and hopefully have a good Xmas.

[alfinyalcabo]

Inform the police that your neighbour has been abusive towards you and tell your son they are going to sort it out so he's no need to bother with the violence.

[Balanbam00]

Well , ''but my son is stubborn - he wont listen to me, ever - I am so stressed that he will do something that he will have to carry consequences for.''

''I am so stressed '' that is the problem! Your mind is creating events that may never happen. ( This may happen ,that may happen etc ) Why not think the opposite . ''All will be alright! No need to think about it !'' Anyway that time has not come yet. No problems!'' We will sort it all out later!

[kritichris]

Well , ''but my son is stubborn - he wont listen to me, ever - I am so stressed that he will do something that he will have to carry consequences for.''

''I am so stressed '' that is the problem! Your mind is creating events that may never happen. ( This may happen ,that may happen etc ) Why not think the opposite . ''All will be alright! No need to think about it !'' Anyway that time has not come yet. No problems!'' We will sort it all out later!

You sound like my wife balan, she always says what is the point of worrying, it may never happen.

[Supersub6]

You sound like my wife balan, she always says what is the point of worrying, it may never happen.

That is my outlook as well chris, however, if it does happen then you just deal with it.
Don't worry about what may happen, that is just wasted energy because unless it is you who is going to make it happen or not ----you have no control whatsoever.

[Balanbam00]

''Im thinking of pretending i have been invited elsewhere for christmas, and therefore stopping him visiting.''

That is avoiding the problem. ( plus you can not tell your son a lie!! Don't start that!)