I remember those old missals from the catholic church, bound in leather, expensive, the paper of the highest class, with ribbon several ribbons to mark your place, full of biblical wisdom, scattered on those that dont understand.

Heres a missal.

Morrison is gone, centre half needed, all youve got is an expensive grandad.

Taylor, legs gone, an expensive mistake, not motivated, not fit, nothing. I use the word expensive, but only by Paul Barrys, and cambridges standards.

Rossi, he thinks hes it, but not wanted by Bournmouth, now plays for Cambridge.

Watts, subbed. Thats all hes got, watts.

Lavery, my kind of striker, on strike. Needs to be a foot from goal, a barrel with nothing in it.

Stevens, cant save owt on the right side.

Gardner, watching the blues yesterday, thats Birmingham City, and getting paid to do so.

The rented centre half the only thing stopping Crawley running rampant.

A rented goal keeper, i think hes rented, dont know where he came from.

Renting is better, Barry only pays wages and nowt else, can ditch them any time, and not have to pay passengers for years.

Bennet, all effort no talent, now an attacking midfielder, showing how many gaps there are.

Passengers indeed, that ex QPR man, injured, absent, pointless. It all adds up to armageddon. Thankyou paul, my dreams are coming true.

The fans will turn on you soon.