OT - One liners

[MadAmster]

On the train back to Birmingham on Sunday, a woman sat opposite said to me that, every time I smile she gets the urge to invite me back to hers. I asked if she was single. Turns out she's a dentist.

[Trickytreesreds]

The young couple next to me have recently made a *** tape.
Obviously, they don't know that yet.

[Trickytreesreds]

I used to go out with a parachutist with IBS.
But she shat on me from a great height.

[MadAmster]

A bit short on readies at the moment so I won't be buying any apples for Halloween this year.

That should save a bob or two.

[Geoff Parkstone]

What's the difference between 'Oooh!' and 'Aaah!'?
About three inches.

[Trickytreesreds]

Whats the difference between an airship and 365 blowjobs?
Ones a Goodyear, the others a ****ing excellent year

[MadAmster]

What's the difference between 'Oooh!' and 'Aaah!'?
About three inches.

Cantona

[SithHappens]

Whats the difference between an airship and 365 blowjobs?
Ones a Goodyear, the others a ****ing excellent year

I've been married 30 years next year One a year would be fantastic lol

[MadAmster]

Those who mocked me for forgetting the French word for "street" will live to rue the day.

[MadAmster]

I keep shouting Marc Bolan lyrics.

Do I have T-Rex?

[Trickytreesreds]

I ordered an Italian hooker yesterday. Turned out she was a pasta tute

[Trickytreesreds]

My lad kept messing about with electrical leads. So I grounded him.

[Trickytreesreds]

I saw 2 blind men fighting. You should have seen the look on their faces when I said, " my money's on the one with the knife"

[MadAmster]

Just heard the Origami Channel has changed, it's gone paper view.

[MadAmster]

A pint of real ale is not only delicious, it contains almost 10% of my daily alcohol requirements!